what next?

I don't know what I have to do or say to make myself feel better, or what I expect from others when hoping for support but i feel incredibly isolated and the more people around me or the more times i post the less valued and worthy i feel, especially when i feel like im screaming and everyone around me doesnt hear.

 

We hear you. It is hard but we have to keep on hanging on,sometimes we have all the support in the world but we still feel alone and unheard ,it is our own minds tricking us,you must keep telling yourself that -thisfeeling isn't real,our friends and family are real and they care .

 

I hear you Wild Rabbit, I just wish I could do/say more to help you. You have my support and you are in my thoughts. I know it's hard to believe but it will get better just keep hanging on in there and take your meds.
Please take care of yourself and keep safe. x

 

thanks, I feel selfish and ungrateful though, because I could have this conversation with you both elsewhere, yet, again feeling selfish, sometimes i would like to know my circle went a little larger?

dreading the next few weeks

mum and dad off on holiday, school shuts in 2 weeks so no break there, for 7 weeks no time to myself at all.

waiting for my partner to call the shrink on monday, but he will put it off or forget no doubt, in the meantime the world goes on thinking im fine

my own fault, im rarely honest about how low i feel so no wonder no one believes me.

 

Hun you call okay you take control and look after you hugs okay

 

You are not selfish Wild Rabbit, you are just seeking help and support.
It is hard to tell people in our real lifes exactly how we feel as many do not want to know or do not understand, that is why places like this forum are good, a place where we can say exactly how we feel.
As always you have my support if not on here then elsewhere. x

 

well, i fucked up here too by moaning before realising it was a post acceptable in the rant room

where do i go for support, a chance to just let it all out if i cant even come on here and feel safe?

 

Why not make your own thread in the let it all out section (sorry if you already have didn't check your posts before answering) or go in chat if you like that sort of thing.

 

just today got the chat thing sorted, but feel like im watching from the sidelines. posted quite a bit and ounding like a broken record now! i dont know what i want i suppose but i feel quite uncomfortable trying to stick up for how i feel and feeling very judged

 

I still feel like that a lot in chat but I guess it's like a lot of things you will only get out of it what you put in so for someone like me who only really says a few things to a few people I can't expect much but there are always people in there willing to listen if you want to talk. Don't worry about sounding like a broken record just keep talking here and rant in the let it all out section as much as you need to never know there may well be a lot of people on here feeling the same or very similar things to you, always helps to know you aren't alone. No one here will judge for feeling a certain way it's the one place we should all feel free to say what we really feel (without hurting others obviously) I'm always around if you want to PM someone.

 

Wild rabbit it is so hard to be as honest as possible with those around us and then we get annoyed because they don't say or do what we expect them to . We have to keep reminding ourselves they are not mind readers . My son offered to get a team of cleaners in to clean my flat from top to bottom because he thought that might be what is making me so down . No, I might hate living here but I accepted that many years ago and the thought of someone in here cleaning and possibly throwing something I want away - doesn't bear thinking about. bless him he meant well but just doesn't understand because he has never been there and I can't explain exactly how I feel and don't want to let him know how bad I really feel. People try but it is hard for them to ,but we don't always see that.

 

Wild Rabbit, I know it's hard to be truthful about how we feel - I'm rubbish at it myself, because it's not always easy to put it into words. All I can say is "Keep trying". I know summer holidays are difficult but are there any holiday groups the kids can go to? Many churches have free or low cost holiday clubs - maybe worth giving it a try.
Look after yourself.:bunny: