What NOT to say to a depressed person...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ZasuArt, Dec 1, 2011.

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  1. ZasuArt

    ZasuArt Well-Known Member

    So just this morning I reassured a new SFer that since we're all "birds of a feather" here, they were unlikely to ever need to dodge the dreaded put-off, "think positive!". Naturally, within a few hours of my assertion, I'm seeing this sort of thing pop up all over the place.
    :sigh: ​
    So, I thought it might be fun to start a thread recording all of the many well-intentioned but annoyingly useless things you DON'T need to hear when you are at your lowest.

    I'll start:

    "Think happy thoughts!"

    "Get over yourself!"

    "Are you doing this for attention?"

    Anyone care to add?
     
  2. In a Lonely Place

    In a Lonely Place Well-Known Member

    :unsure:You just need a kick up the arse:unsure:
     
  3. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    Anything along lines that suggest the person in question isn't trying hard enough, is lazy, doesn't really want to get better (which might be true- it has been in my case several times, you just shouldn't say it), could easily "snap out of it" if they wanted to, think positive, do positive things. Implying that they're just being like this because they want attention, certainly agreed there. Worst of all though, and one that needs extra emphasis: do not ever apply guilt to a depressed person in the form of "other people have it much worse than you do. you don't deserve to be depressed."
     
  4. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

  5. NiceGuYKC

    NiceGuYKC Well-Known Member

    Don't bloody give out to them when they're drunk.
     
  6. ZasuArt

    ZasuArt Well-Known Member

    At least once a week my partner asks, "Are you SURE you're taking your vitamins" when the subject of my depression comes up. As if I were choosing to ignore the magic vitamin that would make me happy again.
     
  7. BK_Jetsfan

    BK_Jetsfan Well-Known Member

    "You clearly want to stay depressed."

    "There are people starving in (insert third world country here)."

    "It could be worse."

    Those are the threee that drive me into a murderous rage. LOL.
     
  8. HawthornePassage

    HawthornePassage Well-Known Member

    any generic advise, really. its a horse thats been beaten to a pulp
     
  9. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    'Have you taken you meds today?'

    As if that is supposed to make me automatically sprout wings and fly away.

    Two words: Hunt... Pheasant...
     
  10. BeautifullyChaotic

    BeautifullyChaotic Well-Known Member

    "Snap out of it"
    "Get over it"
    "You're only depressed because you want to be"
    "You're only happy when you're miserable" (that doesn't even make any sense)
    and my personal favorite, "Stop thinking about it" as though I can control my thoughts.
     
  11. aristotle

    aristotle Member

    "there are worse off people" -even the grammers bad

    "only you can fix this" - oh good
     
  12. Atompilz

    Atompilz Well-Known Member

    "what do you have to be down about?"
    "come on cheer up you have lots to look forward to"
    "you will meet someone one day....when you least expect it"
    "you know I am always here for you"(said by person who is never there even when another mate rings them saying I will top myself)

    *Why is what I am texting coming out the wrong side, am I doing something wrong?I hate change!!!*
     
  13. Sais

    Sais Well-Known Member

    "If you had used your mind you wouldn't have been here"

    "best" one I ever heard
     
  14. MorganaNever

    MorganaNever Well-Known Member

    Oh yes, I get the same comment as if vitamins are the magic cure. I never took vitamins in my life and I was relatively ok, I am taking vitamins and they don't make much of a difference either way.

    Also, my partner says they told me so many times that if I do pushups Id feel better and gets angry at me when we talk about depression cause I stop doing them when its really bad. I understand that exercise helps a lot and all, but sometimes its really the last thing on my mind, and someone blaming me for not doing it as if then all would be different just pisses me off so much.
     
  15. Irene L

    Irene L Member

    I hate when people ask me if I am just seeking attention or if I truly wanted to die when I take an OD.

    I hate when people say I am not trying.
     
  16. Cowburn

    Cowburn Well-Known Member

    "Every problem has a solution"

    :hit:
     
  17. BK_Jetsfan

    BK_Jetsfan Well-Known Member

    Funny enough, I got this one this morning from my girlfriend. Sigh.
     
  18. Sais

    Sais Well-Known Member

    "Why must you think about all this?"
     
  19. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    "Exercise, it makes you happier" o_O I mean fucking really?
     
  20. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Move on.
    We know!!! Just get over it. Other people do.

    (Or worse than what they could say is when they simply ignore your presence entirely unless they need someone to hear their problems. And worse than that is when they make plans to get together with each other and those plans clearly do not involve you and they go on for some time about what a great time it will be.)
     
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