What NOT to say to a depressed person...
- Thread starter ZasuArt
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"Don't do anything permanent because of something temporary." Well intentioned advise but not completely thought out as to many depressed people, it seems permanent. 
"This will pass." / "This too shall pass." / Any variance of it. Can you give me a date so I can hibernate until it finally does?
The exercise one always confused me. I used to exercise regularly. Walked everywhere, walked my dogs several times a day, ran once a day (with my pit bull)... and I was still depressed. o.0
"This will pass." / "This too shall pass." / Any variance of it. Can you give me a date so I can hibernate until it finally does?
The exercise one always confused me. I used to exercise regularly. Walked everywhere, walked my dogs several times a day, ran once a day (with my pit bull)... and I was still depressed. o.0
My ultimate favorite:
"Take a warm shower, it'll make you feel better." - This is usually said by people who don't understand my terrifying fear of showers. Which is about everybody but three people.
PLUS, my depression doesn't breed on my skin, my suicidal thoughts aren't a body paint that just washes down the drain whenever I bathe. My problems are still there when I step out, and I can't just scrub at my skin until they go away. Soap is not magical, or a healing stone. In fact, you can't even eat it to clean your insides; it would just taste terrible and you'd feel sick for a very long time.
"Take a warm shower, it'll make you feel better." - This is usually said by people who don't understand my terrifying fear of showers. Which is about everybody but three people.
PLUS, my depression doesn't breed on my skin, my suicidal thoughts aren't a body paint that just washes down the drain whenever I bathe. My problems are still there when I step out, and I can't just scrub at my skin until they go away. Soap is not magical, or a healing stone. In fact, you can't even eat it to clean your insides; it would just taste terrible and you'd feel sick for a very long time.
You should be moving on
dont see it as a problem see it as a challenge
well why dont you go by yourself if you want to see it that bad (really hurtful)
No wonder your so miserable if youve been sitting at that computer all day
well you wont meet anyone looking like that
cheer up it may never happen
you should join a gym?exercise club get out meet people have a laugh etc etc join a club-you like art theres an art group that meets every tuesday afternoon at the local community centre blah blah blah ..
dont see it as a problem see it as a challenge
well why dont you go by yourself if you want to see it that bad (really hurtful)
No wonder your so miserable if youve been sitting at that computer all day
well you wont meet anyone looking like that
cheer up it may never happen
you should join a gym?exercise club get out meet people have a laugh etc etc join a club-you like art theres an art group that meets every tuesday afternoon at the local community centre blah blah blah ..
"I can't believe you let yourself get like this."
"Time heals."
"Did you forget to take your medication today?"
One of my favorites is when you are trying to talk to someone about your issues and they cut you off and say, "well you know I'm always here for you if you want to talk". I feel like saying, "hello idiot, that's what I'm trying to do!".
"Time heals."
"Did you forget to take your medication today?"
One of my favorites is when you are trying to talk to someone about your issues and they cut you off and say, "well you know I'm always here for you if you want to talk". I feel like saying, "hello idiot, that's what I'm trying to do!".
I think people only really want to hear positivity, which in a way I understand, but it's very frustrating when I just don't feel it and can't pretend to. I have tried to explain that I have severe depression to my friends and I get the impression that they don't really take it seriously. If they did they would ask me how I was but they never do.
Maybe that was a bit off the point. I have heard several cheesy pep talk lines about my depression that just dont cut it. somebody mentioned the one about needing a kick up the arse earlier and I have to say I really loathe that one as it just implies that the person is lazy and self indulgent, and could shake off the depression easily if they no longer were given the "option" of wallowing in it. Grrr. I have a feeling that this is what my friends think about me.
"If you cared about the people in your life you wouldn't even be thinking about it." Because apparently making me feel even more like a horrible bad selfish person is going to help?
"You need to focus on something else" Such as?
"You need to stop letting it bother you" (Mental health worker said this to me) Ohhhhhh!!! Goodness - is THAT what I need to do? Stop letting it bother me. Well why did nobody SAY so before? :/
"It will get better." Really? You want to share that crystal ball around? Maybe conjour up a lottery win? THAT might actually help. Your trite useless unfounded assertions do not.
Sorry - that was a little ranty :/
"You need to focus on something else" Such as?
"You need to stop letting it bother you" (Mental health worker said this to me) Ohhhhhh!!! Goodness - is THAT what I need to do? Stop letting it bother me. Well why did nobody SAY so before? :/
"It will get better." Really? You want to share that crystal ball around? Maybe conjour up a lottery win? THAT might actually help. Your trite useless unfounded assertions do not.
Sorry - that was a little ranty :/
Haha, the other day I was telling somebody about my situation and was told that they thought I was ''full of shit''. THANKS, THAT DEFINITELY MAKES ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF.
What also especially bothers me is the comparing you to people who have it worse off than you. The fact that there are starving children in Africa doesn't change the fact that I'm feeling sad right now. (':
What also especially bothers me is the comparing you to people who have it worse off than you. The fact that there are starving children in Africa doesn't change the fact that I'm feeling sad right now. (':
It makes me feel worse because I start thinking about the starving children in Africa which leads me to thinking about the condition of the rest of the world.
How about the infamous: "You don't know what it's like to be me" or "Try living a day in my shoes" or any variation. - Yes, I realize I'm not the only one with problems. This makes the person sound three times as selfish as they're assuming we are.
Or the "Have faith in Jesus/God and you'll heal in no time" I understand having faith and have nothing against people who do, but I don't like being accused of being depressed just because I'm an atheist and I imagine Christians don't like being accused of not having enough faith just because they are depressed.
And one for all the young people; "You're young, what do you have to be depressed about?" I hear that one very often. It was old the first time.
How about the infamous: "You don't know what it's like to be me" or "Try living a day in my shoes" or any variation. - Yes, I realize I'm not the only one with problems. This makes the person sound three times as selfish as they're assuming we are.
Or the "Have faith in Jesus/God and you'll heal in no time" I understand having faith and have nothing against people who do, but I don't like being accused of being depressed just because I'm an atheist and I imagine Christians don't like being accused of not having enough faith just because they are depressed.
And one for all the young people; "You're young, what do you have to be depressed about?" I hear that one very often. It was old the first time.
Yeah, it's like they're telling you you don't have the right to feel the way you do because other people are having a worse time. When people say that sort of thing I feel especially guilty because I really hardly have anything to be depressed about, and I suppose I'm young and I know that I have a future. So frustrating, arrghh. xD
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