what now? please help

[*dilligaf*]

what do you do when all you can think about is ending your life? every day..there is nothing else in my head, all i can think of is ways of doing it etc. in the last week i have od'ed once, tried to do it a second time, gone to a and e toget a sleeping tablet and randomly called my doctor cos i felt unsafe. as far as im concerned everyone is gettting bored of me being like this-and you know what, so am i!!!! i wish i knew what to do. everyone seems to be giving up slowly, my doctor is the latest one. has anyone any advice? how do i get through this without giving in to it and the tablets sitting taunting me???
i usually only feel like this for a day or so at a time, which is bad enough, but this time its been over two weeks, constantly..i have no strength to do anything, no energy, i dont even care anymore.
sorry for the long post...

 

[smackh2o]

You might find that because your strong enough to keep on going, even with these feelings, that other people think your ok or are just using it as an excuse to get sympathy. Lots of people don't have a brilliant attention span and they don't know how bad it can be for each other.
I get depressed and have been getting depressed in pockets, just like you describe. But everytime i get this way (used to be once every 2 months, now once every 2 weeks) it seems to get worse and for longer.
You need to voice these problems to your doctor, you need to make him care and make him believe you want it all to get better fast. The best advice anyone can give you is to try and make yourself happy(or at least not unhappy) without pills, although lots know that isnt easy depending on situations and types of depressions. Your doc needs to make you aware of this, it's their job.
And in your darkest hours remember that there's always someone to talk to in the world.