what now?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by *dilligaf*, Aug 13, 2007.

  1. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    whats wrong with you now? why cant i just be happy for once? i am with he woman that i love, i have left behind my house and annoying family, and all the problem that they bring, for a week. i don't have the stress of worrying about work. the baby is getting better. I'm unbelievably in love with someone who says they love me too. SO WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?! i swear i have a problem with being happy. it's like i'm determined not to be happy. maybe it's because i don't feel like i have the right to be happy? maybe i'll never be happy? maybe this is how i'm going to feel like this forever??? :sad:

    im missing my nan like hell. i keep dreaming about her. it's sad, i know, im 20, should be able to cope with stuff like this. when she was getting ill someone told me in the middle of a row that that was the only bad thing that had ever happened to me in my life and i wouldn't stop whingeing about it. that i should get on with it and stop moaning. well, maybe that's true. it's probably getting on everyone's nerves by now. it's getting on mine. i want one nights sleep without a dream about her. :sad:

    my friend is going through the same thing, i want to help her. i have been through it and would like to be able to share my experiences. but it's hurting like hell. everything she says brings back the memories.

    meh, it's over. i just want to be happy. just for once. one day without feeling like cutting or od'ing. not too much to ask is it????????? :sad:
     
  2. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    :hug: Just because you're 20 doesn't mean you should be able to deal with it any better than anyone else would. My dad was 31 I think when his dad died, and that is the only time I have ever seen him cry. Just hang in there.
     
  3. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    thanks hunni :hug: