What now!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by fergus, Jun 10, 2012.

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  1. fergus

    fergus New Member

    I have always suffered depression but never spoken about it. I'm ashamed of it and try to hide it as best I can. Only me n my doctor know I have it. Just recently I have found it so hard to hide, personal issues and having problems with a couple guys at work. It's kinda taking over, so much so that I had a panic attack/meltdown at work last week. Everyone must think i'm kinda nuts. The anxiety just took over. Anyway I don't know how i'm gonna face going back. I don't want to admit to folk I have depression and if I do it's the kinda place I will get mocked for showing such weakness. I know for a fact even my friends at work will see me different and treat me likewise.

    It's not just work, at home in my wee town i'm seen as a bit weird, I just cannot relate to folks normally. I think I think too much and analise peoples reasoning too much. I was at a festival last night and feel I wen't overboard on the drink and drugs. I'm 33 it's not something I do much these days so maybe my tolerance has gone. Although I know I didn't do anything stupid I'm just mortified I was so wasted even though I was mild compared to most.

    So anyway! I don't think I have ever felt so low and I just don't know what to do. I just thought it might help if I wrote how i'm feeling somewhere. I have nobody to talk to about this shit and it's killing me inside.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...when we do not feel right in our own skin, I am sure we project these perceptions on others...everyone has bad days...I hope you go back to work, head held high, and and it is his/her problem if anyone who does not understand...we are all so imperfect and that is the only standard we can be held to...best of luck tomorrow and welcome again
  3. Monoka

    Monoka Well-Known Member

    allow be to be hypocritical and urge you NEVER to be ashamed of your depression, its a medical illness that far more people have than admit to. if you ave close friends try and talk to them. Im in school and by discussing things with one friend at a time i have found a lot of people feeling the same and we now support each other.

    take care
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