I have always suffered depression but never spoken about it. I'm ashamed of it and try to hide it as best I can. Only me n my doctor know I have it. Just recently I have found it so hard to hide, personal issues and having problems with a couple guys at work. It's kinda taking over, so much so that I had a panic attack/meltdown at work last week. Everyone must think i'm kinda nuts. The anxiety just took over. Anyway I don't know how i'm gonna face going back. I don't want to admit to folk I have depression and if I do it's the kinda place I will get mocked for showing such weakness. I know for a fact even my friends at work will see me different and treat me likewise. It's not just work, at home in my wee town i'm seen as a bit weird, I just cannot relate to folks normally. I think I think too much and analise peoples reasoning too much. I was at a festival last night and feel I wen't overboard on the drink and drugs. I'm 33 it's not something I do much these days so maybe my tolerance has gone. Although I know I didn't do anything stupid I'm just mortified I was so wasted even though I was mild compared to most. So anyway! I don't think I have ever felt so low and I just don't know what to do. I just thought it might help if I wrote how i'm feeling somewhere. I have nobody to talk to about this shit and it's killing me inside.