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what parents can do if child is being bullied

Discussion in 'Bullying and Violence' started by lost soul, Nov 1, 2006.

  1. lost soul

    lost soul Guest

    I have found this for what parents can do if their child is getting bullied.

    All schools are likely to have some problem with bullying at one time or another. It is essential that your child's school has an anti-bullying policy, and uses it to reduce and prevent bullying, as many schools have already successfully done.

    Bullying can include the following:
    name calling and teasing

    threats and extortion

    physical violence

    damage to someone's belongings

    leaving pupils out of social activities deliberately and frequently

    spreading malicious rumours

    Bullying by mobile phone text messages or e mail

    Parents and families have an important part to play in helping schools deal with bullying

    First, discourage your child from using bullying behaviour at home or elsewhere. Show them how to resolve the difficult situations without using violence or aggression.

    Second, ask to see the school's anti-bullying policy. All schools should have an anti-bullying policy. It is a document that sets out how the school deals with incidents of bullying. You have a right to know about this policy, which is for parents as much as staff and pupils.

    Third,watch out for signs that your child is being bullied, or is bullying others. Parents and families are often the first to detect that a problem exists. Don't dismiss it. Contact the school immediately if you are worried.

    Information about what to do
    if your child has been bullied
    when talking with teachers about bullying
    if you are not satisfied
    if your child is bullying other children
    to stop your child from bullying others

    resources for parents and families about bullying
    useful organisations that can help

    if your child has been bullied calmly talk with your child about his/her experience

    make a note of what your child says, particularly who was said to be involved; how often the bullying has occured; where it happened and what has happened

    reassure your child that he/she has done he right thing to tell you about the bullying

    explain to your child that should any further incidents occur he/she should report them to a teacher immediately

    make an appointment to see your child's class teacher or form tutor

    explain to the teacher the problems your child is experiencing

    when talking with teachers about bullying

    try to stay calm, bear in mind that the teacher may have no idea that your child is being bullied or may have heard conflicting accounts of an incident

    be as specific as possible about what your child says has happened, give dates, places and names of other children involved

    make a note of what action the school intends to take

    ask if there is anything you can do to help your child of the school

    stay in touch with the school; let them know if things improve as well as if problems continue

    if you are not satisfied

    Families who feel that their concerns are not being addressed appropriately by the school might like to consider the following steps:

    check with the school anti-bullying policy to see if agreed proceedures are being followed

    discuss your concerns with the parent governor or other parents

    make an appointment to discuss the matter with the Headteacher; keep a record of the meeting

    if this does not help, write to the Chair of governors explaining your concerns and what you would like to see happening

    contact the director of education for your authority; the authority will be able to ensure that the Governors respond to your concerns

    If you need further support and information at any stage or the problem remains unresolved, ring the helpline at Parentline plus (see Organisations that can help) or other local and national support groups.

    if your child is bullying other childrens

    Many children may be involved in bullying other pupils at some time or other. Often parents are not aware that their child is involved in bullying.

    Children sometimes bully others because

    they don't know it's wrong

    they are copying older brothers or sisters or other people in the family whom they admire

    they haven't learnt other, better ways of mixing with their school friends

    their friends encourage them to bully

    they are going through a difficult time and are acting out aggressive feelings

    to stop your child from bullying others

    talk with your child; explain that what he or she is doing is unacceptable and makes other children unhappy

    discourage other members of your family from bullying behaviour or from using aggression or force to get what they want

    show your child how he/she can join in with other children without bullying

    make an appointment to see your child's class teacher or form tutor; explain to the teacher the problems your child is experiencing; discuss with the teacher how you and the school can stop him or her bullying others

    regularly check with your child how things are going at school

    give your child lots of praise and encouragement when he or she is co-operative or kind to other people

    Bullying by mobile phone text messages or e mail

    If your child experiences these kinds of bullying, a parent can

    complain to child's teacher

    ensure the child is careful about who they give their mobile phone number or e mail address to

    check exactly when a threatening message was sent

    when necessary, report incidents to the police

    Resources for parents and families about bullying

    ALEXANDER, JYour child bullying: Practical and easy to follow advice
    Element Books (1998)

    ELLIOTT, M101 Ways to deal with bullying, A guide for parents
    Stoughton (1997)

    KIDSCAPEKeeping safe: A practical guide to talking with children
    Kidscape, 152 Buckingham palace Road, London SW1W 9TR (1990)

    LAWSON, SHelping children cope with bullying
    Sheldon Press (1994)

    LINDENFIELD, GConfident children: A parents' guide to helping children feel good
    Thorsens (1994)

    MELLOR, ABullying and how to fight it: A guide for families
    Scottish Council for research in Education, 15 St John Street, Edinburgh EH5 5JR (1993)

    PEARCE, JFighting, teasing and bullying: Simple and effective ways to help your child
    Wellingborough: Thorsons (1989)

    AThe bullying problem: How to deal with difficult children.
    Condor Book, Souvenir Press (1995)

    useful organisations that can help

    Advisory Centre for Education
    1c Aberdeen Studios, 22 Highbury Grove, London N5 2DQ
    Tel helpline: 0207 354 8321 (Mon-Fri 2-5pm)
    Advice line for parents on all matters concerning schools

    Anti Bullying Campaign
    185 Tower Bridge Road, London SE1 2UF
    Tel: 0207 378 1446 (9.30am-5.00pm)
    Advice line for parents and children

    Children's Legal centre
    Tel: 01206 873 820
    (Mon-Fri 10am-12.30pm and 2pm-4.30pm)
    Publications and free advice line on legal issues

    2 Grosvenor Gardens, London SW1W 0DH
    Tel: 0207 730 3300 Fax: 0207 730 7081
    Has a wide range of publications for young people, parents and teachers.
    Bullying counsellor available Monday to Friday 10-4

    Parentline Plus
    520 Highgate Studios, 53-79 Highgate Road, Kentish Town, London NW5 1TL
    Tel: 0808 800 2222(24 hours)
  2. Lauzii

    Lauzii New Member

    Thankyou! Great Help"!

  3. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    That's brilliant... I've just emailed it to my sister as my niece is being bullied and has been avoiding school (school is doing sod all!! :mad: ) so these organisations might be able to help.
  4. Robin

    Robin Guest

    Thx Lost Soul :)
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You are right on the money with your information lost soul. Thank you for providing such a well thought out post. :hug:
  6. blade

    blade Well-Known Member

    what if the papernts r the main cuse.
  7. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    If parents are the main cause, then tell someone else that you trust, like say, an aunt, uncle, teacher, friend... etc. Or in a really extreme case, then the police would prolly be an idea too. Helplines are another good one, if you really dont wanna talk to someone you know personally. Hope that helps.

  8. colt45

    colt45 Well-Known Member

    Sometimes it is not easy for kids to admit. They feel like they have to endure the pain.

    I tryed to keep everything to myself bu focusing on my studies, and just waned to be alone.

    If your child seems withdrawn from aspect of contactw with friends and family it it a sign of pain.

    The pain that can not be seen can be deeper than we realize
  9. colt45

    colt45 Well-Known Member

    I know to becase that happenned to me alot in late elementry all the way up to high school.
  10. emozillapwnsyourface

    emozillapwnsyourface Well-Known Member

    my school never did anything when this girl was threatening my life and then when another girl was doing the same they just talked to her and told her to stop. and if we wanted something done to go to the cops and they said they cant do anything unless she was to hit me and someone seen it.
  11. Alice Matthews

    Alice Matthews New Member

    Thank you so much for the info! Even my daughters friend is facing a similar problem! I will definitely ask her to tell her friend about these organizations.
  12. clareabella666

    clareabella666 Active Member

    When i was bullied at school my headtecher actually accused me of being the bully because wait for it " the bullys family was more wealthy than mine meaning she had better morals!"

    I skipped school for months, i had an education welfare offiver visit me numerous times threatening my parents with court if i did not attend school. In the end they called his bluff afterall they had done everything roght. They had raised meeting with my head of year and the headteacher. Had made me attend "mediation" meetings ( more like hell that mediation) yet the school did nothing. It was until i still refused to go to school and let my mom and dad face court that they realised i wasn't lying. After several months of trying to convince me to swap schools with i refused, i mean i have no confidence at all and you want to stick me in one of the roughest schools in the area on top of that i wasn't the one in the wrong then why on earth should i move schools? My parents managed to get the school to agree to me having 2 1hour home lessons. If you know that your child is being bullied and nobody is listening then keep pushing, never give up. Don't let anyone threaten you with courts etc it happens in thier schools so it is them that need to ensure everything is put into place to make that child want to go back to school
  13. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Parenting those days are really rough!
  14. Izziebabystar

    Izziebabystar Well-Known Member

    thanks for this info my 6 year old is being bullied really badly at school to the point she cut up her school uniform and has started making herself sick in the mornings to get out of going :(