What should have been...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by ArgumentGuy, Oct 18, 2012.

  1. ArgumentGuy

    ArgumentGuy Active Member

    I hooked up with a girl last weekend. We've been attracted to each other for a few weeks, but we finally acted on it last weekend when she came out to Eau Claire from Minneapolis to visit me and take me back for a friend's wedding.

    I thought it was a sure thing. I thought I would finally have someone special in my life. I was wrong. Turns out, she had issues with a long-distance relationship, stemming from a past distant-relationship, and didn't want to go through that again. I can respect that. I don't like it, but I can respect it. So, for now we're just friends.

    But then, bad things have started happening. She's stopped talking to me. After almost 600 messages between us in two weeks, dropping to nothing really hurts. What's worse, she's already started going out with someone else. This person is someone that she's known for 20 years, and has already tried a relationship with twice before. It happened so fast that a big part of me thinks that she was already intending to be in a relationship with this guy, even when she was with me. And thinking that way kills me.

    I'm moving back to the Twin Cities in 7 months, and it's true what she said that nobody knows what will happen in 7 months. Part of me thinks that their relationship will fail again, and that I'll have another shot. But another, more experienced part of me says that I'm just deluding myself.

    This really hurts, SF. I can't deal with this. My heart is breaking. This sort of thing doesn't happen; I'm not someone that people are attracted to, and relationships are a mysterious entity for me. Someone help me, please.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 18, 2012
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Several things come to mind: Relationships are messy and can be painful, but well worth the risk...also, if she is someone you care for, you now what qualities you are looking for...lastly, people can only be judged, in that way, IRL...and yes, no body knows what will happen in 7 months, but make sure you do not only wait for her
  3. ArgumentGuy

    ArgumentGuy Active Member

    Much as I thought the two of us were made for each other (seriously, our similarities are kinda scary) I know it's unhealthy to wait for her. I'll always maintain hope, but I can move on...eventually. The problem is that, in my foreseeable future, there's no one else that would be attracted to me. We came to each other because we spent 7 weekends together during the past two summers at the MN Renaissance Festival. I don't spend that kind of time with anyone else, and it won't happen again until next year.
  4. gloomy

    gloomy Account Closed

    Wait-- she found someone else within a WEEK?
  5. ArgumentGuy

    ArgumentGuy Active Member

    More like three days. The thing about that, though, is that this guy is someone that she's known for a long time, had already been in a relationship with twice before, and was being pulled between me and this other guy. It still hurts that it took all of three days...
  6. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    Oh wow, yeah that hurts beyond belief. That's just unbelievable. :hug: I'm so sorry I wish I could take the pain away you feel!
  7. ArgumentGuy

    ArgumentGuy Active Member

    UPDATE: I can't even get her to talk to me anymore. I know it might be a little awkward, but I still want to at least talk to her if nothing else. Now I don't even have that.