I have finally decided that I am not going to kill myself. I dont wanna get into the mix with "god" and hell and things like that. But I hate my life, Living is a pain. I hate my family and hate the way I look, I am fat and ugly. There is only one thing that makes me a little bit happy and I can never do that becuase my parents take it away from me every chance they get when my grade slips. I dont know why the fuck they care about that becuase its not like my grades are any good enough to go to college. I have no freinds and in my opinion no family. I swear to god i have some problem (ocd and acd are probly what i have.) but I can never talk to anyone about it becuse when i go try and talk to my parents my mom just says stop being crazy and my retarted father just goes with whatever she says. I am just wondering, wat should i do with my life. I am thinking about doing something and going to jail and then I wont have to worry about anything. I hate life so bad and it feels like I am already in hell becuase I cant kill myself and cant live if that kinda makes sense. I hate everyone around me, and I hate myself. I just am praying everyday to "god" that somehow I die.