I wonder if anyone has any advice that might help. I'm intensely depressed and I don't have a life. I have no friends, no partner, nowhere to go and nothing to do. I struggle to leave the house, so I'm alone virtually all of the time. The only thing that keeps me going is the next fix, and by "fix" I mean the next cigarette, the next drink or the next orgy of junk food. These things, at least, give me pleasure. They give me something to do, and seem to temporarily dull the pain. But they don't last, and I can never get enough. After years of this, it seems my health is suffering. I have weird sweats, nagging pains, I need to pee all the time, I have a constant ringing in my ears and my vision is often blurry. Worse than that, I've developed skin problems and I look like absolute s**t. This has destroyed whatever was left of my confidence and makes interacting with people impossible, so it seems there really is no way out of this prison.
Every night, when I'm drunk, bloated, nauseous and wheezing, I survey my life with horror and think that if I can just wake up tomorrow and quit all of those things -- claw my way back to health through sheer willpower -- I could begin to build a life worth living. But in the morning I desperately reach for the next fix: how can I get through the day otherwise? How can I get through the next hour without a cigarette, or the evening without a drink? What else is there to make me feel better? As for food, if I eat a moderate, healthy meal, I'm left with too much energy and I cannot sleep. So how do I get through the hours until I can sleep?
Does anyone relate to the above? Does anyone have any advice that could help me get out of this nightmare?
Every night, when I'm drunk, bloated, nauseous and wheezing, I survey my life with horror and think that if I can just wake up tomorrow and quit all of those things -- claw my way back to health through sheer willpower -- I could begin to build a life worth living. But in the morning I desperately reach for the next fix: how can I get through the day otherwise? How can I get through the next hour without a cigarette, or the evening without a drink? What else is there to make me feel better? As for food, if I eat a moderate, healthy meal, I'm left with too much energy and I cannot sleep. So how do I get through the hours until I can sleep?
Does anyone relate to the above? Does anyone have any advice that could help me get out of this nightmare?