What should I do?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Chernarus, Jun 22, 2008.

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  1. Chernarus

    Chernarus Well-Known Member

    I am in the juvinal deversion program and if i tell my therapist how i really feel shell send me to the loony bin and that may cause me to fail the diversion program which will defantitly send me to jail for atleast a few years and that may ruin any hope of a future. so im feeling so damn sucidal and i cant get any help if i tell her how i really feel i get fucked so im not shure what to do anymore.
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You should listen to your therapist. They are there to help you not harm you. If she has you put in the hospital it's not that bad. You will have restrictions while in there. Everyone has to obey the same rules.
    I don't know why you are in trouble? So it limits me from giving you support.
  3. Chernarus

    Chernarus Well-Known Member

    the problem is if i do i may end up back in jail because i got a felony, and dont get me wrong i didnt do it intentionaly i had grabbed a knife to run away from my home cause they were gonna take me to a crysis center and my mom told me to put the knife down and i told her to go f her self and she took that as me threatening her with it. So i dont know what to do because if i do get help it may send me back to jail and for a few years to so i dont know what to do im fucked either way it i either kill my self now or go to jail rot for awhile and then kill my self so im fucked either way.
  4. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    Here's a thought: stop thinking of the worst case scenario and start thinking of possible good outcomes.
  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    why not test out some of your assumptions with yr. therapist or care worker. for instance... you could say "if someone has to be hosptialized does that mean that they automatically fail the diversion program?" ... just kind of float the idea and see what she comes back with. i'd be very surprised if it means an automatic failure. people get sick, for all sorts of reasons. some reasons are physical, some are mental.

    you could also tell her that it is important that you not be hospitalized, that it is your wish to stay in outpatient care and see if there are extra supports to get you through this difficult time. somtimes they can assign a community psych nurse to work with you, and they are good! but tough!!! when i am in crisis the nurse calls or visits every few days. when i am better we talk every few weeks. that's in addition to the psych, the doc, and the therapist! maybe there is something similar available for you.

    your health is the most important thing. don't let your fears stop you from reaching out. i think there are several possible outcomes. why not find out what they are before you decide to keep all your feelings inside. you can only get better by talking about your feelings and working with your therapist for some resolution.
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    How old are you? if you are under 18 your records will be sealed so you don't have to worry about the future. As far as being in the hospital that could be a good thing. It will show the judge that you are working to turn your life around. You can ask your shrink to give you a letter telling the judge that you are working hard to get your anger under control. Talk to your therapist maybe you can get a letter from her/him. You will have to work at it you can't sit back and think you are going to slide right thru all of this. Give it a go...:chopper:
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