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What should I do?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by no point, Jul 26, 2010.

  1. no point

    no point Well-Known Member

    I don't know where to post this. Sorry if it's in the wrong place. I kind of started dating this guy. He's great and we have a lot of fun together. The thing is he wants to go to the beach together and I have a lot of scars on my thighs from SI. They are not fresh cuts. I haven't been cutting for 2 months.

    Do I explain him about my history with SI? Do I make up something? Do you guys think he will break up with me/leave me once he sees the scars? Maybe he will think he can't deal with me anymore. I don't know...
  2. unidentifiable

    unidentifiable Well-Known Member

    if he doesn't like you after he knows you SI, he's not worth it anyway. There's someone out there for everyone and you'll find that one person who loves you for everything you are. i know you are a beautiful person.... please stay strong.
  3. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    Hi there. I have almost exactly the same problem as you. I have been seeing this guy for a few months and have so far been able to hide my scars, which like yours are now a few months old.

    I have recently explained to him that I suffer with severe depression, and he took that well so I'm hoping that he won't freak out when he finally sees my scars. But I am of the same opinion as unidentifiable: if he does freak out then he is certainly not the man for me! You deserve someone who will accept you as you are, scars and all.

    I personally think in your situation, it might be best to explain about the scars, but try to talk about it in the past tense, as though it is a period in your life that is now over (which is sincerely hope it is). This should reassure him that it's not going to be his problem (you could even say this). It's definitely best to be honest though, I think. And at least then you know what you're dealing with; I tend to unleash my craziness on people and see how they cope, so I can judge how things will be with them, but this isn't always a good idea with boyfriends!

    I hope it all goes well. Please let us know how you get on.

  4. no point

    no point Well-Known Member

    Thanks. I guess you guys are right. I just keep thinking he will leave me if he sees one of my defects and SI is one of them...thanks anyways...
  5. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    I have to be honest and admit that he might leave you. But you are who you are, and he should love the person you are, whatever 'defects' you believe you have. If he can't do this, he really isn't worth your time and effort, and certainly not worth your love.

    I do believe that it's unlikely he will leave you, even if/when he sees your scars. Remember though that he might find it hard to get his mind around it, and therefore may a couple of days to himself so he can work out how he should deal with it, but I'm sure after that everything will be fine. I can't guarantee it, because most men are horrible ****s, but not all of them.

    Just keep your fingers crossed, and be honest. If he can't deal with that, you're far better off without him.