what the f**k is wrong with me

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by morning rush, Oct 21, 2010.

  1. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I'm trying, I'm trying really hard to socialize with people...it's just not working...I'm talking to someone for about a minute or two and already the person pissed me off...and then when I get a good connection with someone, the person runs for the hills the moment we start to get comfortable and ready to kind of be friends...

    what the hell is wrong with me? Am I just meant to be alone? why can't I just find someone honest and not so sex oriented...I mean sex is good but not right away...Don't call me hunny, hun or baby...I"m not your baby, I'm not your hunny...or bunny, sweetie etc...if you don't know my name, then ask me...and if I tell you to STOP calling me the name your calling me, don't ignore me...

    Fuck, everytime I try to go into society, it makes me want to run back home and stay isolated...maybe I'm just some moron that should just get it over with and die....
     
  2. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    ahh... I could see myself saying/thinking/feeling the exact same way when I decide I think I'm 'ready' for socializing again.

    It's good you have been trying... but fuck, is it ever hard to stick to your guns when you've been alone and doing things the way you like and want for so long without anyone getting in the way.
    -___-


    Whatever is 'wrong' with you-- we're in the same boat, I think.
     
  3. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I try to give everyone the benefit of doubt, to try and not judge...but dammit...fuck, the minute you start to talk to them, they start coaxing you into what they want...

    I'm so pissed at myself after I swore I wouldn't do cyber sex, or anything related to that...just did it so the guy was happy, but I'm not talking with him anymore...'cause that's all he wants...and I'm not into that...

    and then my friend just doesn't seem to care...its like I dunno...I'm fucking better off alone, and yet it be nice to have someone return and give as I am doing...

    I guess I'll be some old lady talking to herself and having tons of guinea pigs (as oppose to cats) pets are so much better some times...I swear...I get along better with them...I guess my only chance would be aliens then...beam me up someone...