I've been a pretty lonely person ever since I was a teenager and all I've ever wanted out of life was to love and be loved, yet every time I try I end up hurt and devastated...go figure. My third boyfriend who I've been seeing for two months officially broke it off tonight. Well, we had a big big fight on Tuesday and when I left he said he needed to think things over and needed space for a few days. So, I gave him the space he asked for and didn't contact him for a few days. I call him today because we had plans to see each other tonight since last week only to find out that he had BLOCKED my cell. Now this completely baffled me as I did not do anything remotely deserving of that. So tonight I called his cell a few times and eventually he answered...I was told to leave him alone, that we were broken up, that he needed space, and that if I tried coming to his house, he would call the police. I don't know what I did to deserve this but it makes me feel like shit. And alone...incredibly alone. And hurt. Really hurt. This isn't the first time this has happened to me...in fact, both of my ex-boyfriends have blocked my numbers and cut me out of their lives. In their defense, I was a bit much and with the last one especially, I did harass him through texts and calls after breaking up. So those almost felt warranted on their parts. In retrospect and even at the time I understood their actions. Not that it didn't hurt, it hurt like hell, but they had a reason to act in such a manner. The pain never went away from that though. The first time was okay because it could have just been a bad breakup. When it became repeated the second time I became severely depressed for a long time. Now that it has happened a third time, without much warning may I add, I pretty much know what I have to do. There's no hope for me. No point left in living. There wasn't much of a reason before this and this certainly doesn't help matters. I don't know. I'm just hurting a lot right now. I deserve more than this. So much more.