I need some armchair psychologists to help me out here. I want to know what is wrong with me, no real psychologists have been able to diagnose anything but the usual major depressive disorder nonsense. Of course I am depressed, that's like "diagnosing" blood loss after someone's been shot. I will, of course, not take this as an actual diagnosis so it's meant as a fun sort of game for those that are interested in psychology. So I'll list the relevant psychological stuff and I hope someone has some ideas of what this can be.
Problematic external and internal behaviors:
Behavior 1: Can't stick to a job, education program, exercise plan, diet, sleep regimen, etc. Quitting at everything relatively quickly, prepared to drop everything at a moment's notice. Dropped out of college twice (technically thrice), quit two jobs quickly after beginning.
Behavior 2: Avoiding romantic relationships yet needing them so much that the lack of them causes psychological pain to the point of suicidality. I have rejected a small number of potential romantic partners- that I was madly in love with- for seemingly no reason; and of course I never pursued any such relationships myself. All of this despite these relationships being the thing I have cared about the most in life since early adolescence. I am now 22 and have never had a girlfriend, and have never had sex. This girlfriend-thing is the primary force that is moving me to want to commit suicide.
Behavior 3: Switching world-views and other important mental frameworks very frequently. One day my life is all about surviving, the next day it's all about striving to make money, the third it's all about dying peacefully as soon as possible, the fourth it's about punishing the people who put me on this planet and the fifth it's about getting into physical shape. One day I'm on one political side, the next day I've switched sides and the third I lack an opinion, switched to a different one or something else completely. No values stick, no ideas holds firm, all goals are abandoned.
Big five (well, two actually matter): Extremely low in extroversion, high in neuroticism.
Physical health: Sub-optimal cardiovascular system as the result of a sedentary lifestyle. Healthy BMI, body fat percentage a little too high for a male. Diet has no major deficiencies, blood work shows no signs of deficiencies or hormonal imbalances.
Previous "treatment": Three various SSRIs were administered at different times during the course of around three years. Several therapists were visited. To no avail, obviously. Pills and talking can't touch whatever this is.
Grateful for any guesses that come through here. You're the real MVP.
Problematic external and internal behaviors:
Behavior 1: Can't stick to a job, education program, exercise plan, diet, sleep regimen, etc. Quitting at everything relatively quickly, prepared to drop everything at a moment's notice. Dropped out of college twice (technically thrice), quit two jobs quickly after beginning.
Behavior 2: Avoiding romantic relationships yet needing them so much that the lack of them causes psychological pain to the point of suicidality. I have rejected a small number of potential romantic partners- that I was madly in love with- for seemingly no reason; and of course I never pursued any such relationships myself. All of this despite these relationships being the thing I have cared about the most in life since early adolescence. I am now 22 and have never had a girlfriend, and have never had sex. This girlfriend-thing is the primary force that is moving me to want to commit suicide.
Behavior 3: Switching world-views and other important mental frameworks very frequently. One day my life is all about surviving, the next day it's all about striving to make money, the third it's all about dying peacefully as soon as possible, the fourth it's about punishing the people who put me on this planet and the fifth it's about getting into physical shape. One day I'm on one political side, the next day I've switched sides and the third I lack an opinion, switched to a different one or something else completely. No values stick, no ideas holds firm, all goals are abandoned.
Big five (well, two actually matter): Extremely low in extroversion, high in neuroticism.
Physical health: Sub-optimal cardiovascular system as the result of a sedentary lifestyle. Healthy BMI, body fat percentage a little too high for a male. Diet has no major deficiencies, blood work shows no signs of deficiencies or hormonal imbalances.
Previous "treatment": Three various SSRIs were administered at different times during the course of around three years. Several therapists were visited. To no avail, obviously. Pills and talking can't touch whatever this is.
Grateful for any guesses that come through here. You're the real MVP.