what the fuck is wrong with me?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by morning rush, Mar 25, 2012.

  1. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I am so tired and yet I don't want to sleep, I am tired of sleeping. And yet all I do is nothing. And I keep wanting to go out for a walk and changing my mind. to take a bath and changing my mind, its like suddenly I lose the energy of doing things.

    I have no life, nothing. It's like nothing I do is good enough. And when I can't get work or house work done I feel worse. Then my mom calls me lazy, and I don't think I am...I just can't do it...I try...I really do...I get stuck in my head and I think of what to do but I can't get the motion to do it.

    I don't even have the energy to talk on here, like I get all numb and my mind goes blank....
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am glad you did post hun You are not the only one that feels like this depression does that it prevents us from doing things from feeling things don't be so hard on you ok you cannot help it if you have an illness h ugs to you
     
  3. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    No-thing is worse than not being able to do some-thing, and then beating ourselves up over it. It's as if the aftermath--the frustration of failure (however minor) is almost worse than the inability to accomplish a simple task! I know how it feels to barely be able to cross the street; get out of bed to go to the bathroom; call some one important back; and so on, and so on.... I just think, you have to understand that this is all symptomatic of your condition, and try not to get too overwhelmed by the troubles, such as zero energy to go to the grocery store or organize your coffee table. From my own dealings with depression, I know that when I get borderline catatonic, and can hardly move a muscle, lying around in bed all day, I find my self even more tired, despite all the sleep: however unrestful it may be! It's like the more energy I expend--the more energy I have in return. Give yourself some credit, afterall, you're fighting an almost undisputed heavyweight champion when it comes to diseases--I am overstating, I understand! You truly don't have to feel so badly about results that are not where you feel they need to be. It comes with the territory. If you can do your best, give all your efforts, then that will be enough for now, until you begin to get better. Which is precisely how I hope you feel, starting now.
     
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I know how you feel...I also lack energy to do a lot of things, even the basic. I get called lazy sometimes too, or made to feel that way. Once my neighbor asked my mom, "What is she going to do, lay in bed all day?" A lot of people don't seem to understand what depression is like, or how it can affect you. There's nothing wrong with you, because a lot of us go through the same things. Just give yourself some time and do things when you feel a bit better.
     
  5. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    tomorrow I'm going to have a blood test done and I see my psychiatrist to talk about bipolar. I'm nervous about it...
     
  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    It's normal to feel nervous about it, but hopefully it will help and you'll start feeling better soon.
     
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hope your visit with your doctor goes well hun hugs to you