What the fuck is wrong with these people?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Witty_Sarcasm, Sep 12, 2016.

  1. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    My grandfather passed away on Wednesday, and it has been difficult to cope with. The emotional toll has been hard enough, but now the circumstances surrounding his burial are just a pain in the ass. The VA explained to my mom like a year or two ago that they would take care of all of the arrangements, and that plans were not supposed to be made until after he died. Well, that turned into a giant headache. I feel like there is some fine print they failed to mention. They want us to pay $2,000 or more and we just don't have it. They never said before that we would have to pay a dime. It is bad enough that we cannot afford a funeral or to have him buried next to my grandmother. Now he may not even be interred in a military cemetery. They want to have the county claim the body and cremate him and then hold the urn somewhere unknown. We can't really proceed with anything until they sign the death certificate, and they refuse. Some place even wanted to see my grandmother's death certificate. She passed away 23 years ago. How is that even relevant to what is happening now? I am just beyond frustrated and don't even know what to do anymore.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Wow, you have a lot going on, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you find strength and courage in days to come. I have no answers just wish you well xxx
     
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  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Thank you :) It just seems like the hospital and others are making this more hard than it needs to be. It is all so damn frustrating.
     
  4. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    I am somewhat in denial about the "end of life" procedures and all that, I don't even want to know about them. But I guess there comes a time when we have no choice...you just can't count on anyone these days, way to go VA for making this difficult time even more difficult. I'm sorry you're going through this.
     
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  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Thanks..I just want him to be at peace already. He served his country and they can give him this much at least.
     
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  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I am just feeling really upset right now. I read about what happens if someone is indigent and a regular burial can't be done. They bury the bodies all together, of people who have no money. In separate caskets but all like in a big ditch or something. No headstone and no indicator of who is buried there. I realize some people are homeless, and some have no families, but I don't think anyone should be buried this way, especially those who still do have living family members. I think everyone should have their own plot, it sounds stupid but it unsettles me to think of being buried with a bunch of strangers. We can pay for this, or go without food and other essentials for the rest of the month. It really is that simple. We have been under the poverty level for a long time now, and no one can help. This is just really depressing. I don't want the same to happen to me or other relatives when we pass. If I ever make enough money, I want to make this right. Sorry for being a mess, I am just really sad right now.
     
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  7. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    It's scary to think what might happen to our bodies after we pass away. Don't apologize for being a mess, you have a right to be. I know it's not the same, but for me, my pets mean the world to me. Unless you pay $500 for an individual cremation, that's kind of what happens to them. They get cremated with other animals and if you choose to keep the ashes, you don't even know if it's your pet in there. I've already laid 2 dogs to rest individually. We have 6 more pets and my little savings account is taking their end of life needs into consideration but I've completely ignored my own. At this point if I pass away, my family lays claim to my body and they'll bury me in the family plot. This is NOT what I want. I've disowned them...you know, reading your post got me thinking I have to make a will at least so that my body is safe from the family. I really hope that you can find that money so you can take care of your grandpa the way he deserves. Sending hugs and courage xx
     
  8. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I don't understand why everything is all about money nowadays. I need to make sure I save up so that my family can afford to pay for my burial in the future. Though things may be different by then. They will keep his ashes until we can afford to pay them thousands of dollars. So this whole situation just plain sucks.
     
    Frances M likes this.
  9. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Wtdf is wrong with the VA. Hope you guys get this resolved soon.
     
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  10. MondoCane

    MondoCane Member

    I am sorry for you. I hope the best possible in this situation to happen to you. I've been through similar situations, I don't know if hearing other sad stories helps you. Sometimes we are places beyond our will in two kinds of slaughterhouses - the one for the good ones that leads to good fruits and happiness in this world for others (when you read good and happy stories and then you forget them) but you are never rewarded and slaughterhouse number two for the bad ones who embalm themselves into evil stories or sad stories or warlike stories and then the gods sacrifice them (through different kinds of priest-like officiants) for the sake of having more destruction power. These ones too are never rewarded. I preferred to be in the first one - and it is obvious why. As long as you can still accumulate good or evil inside you in your memory they won't sacrifice you, in the need of getting more profit. You can read my true story in the following words (it is your choice if you forget it or not, because only if forgotten it can reappear and bear fruit). First my godfather and uncle died in 2004 and his coffin did not fit the grave, so they buried him superficially and then his grave and his wive's grave (buried in the neighborly grave in 2002) were haunted by ferocious rats and we barely got rid of them after years. Then my father died in 2005 and he was buried in the same grave as his brother at a deeper level. Then my mother sold the 2 grave places that we inherited from my uncle abusing my rights and against my will because I did not accept the deal for obvious reasons. The priest was honest and refused to sign against my rights but my mother made a deal with a crooked lawyer. Now if I die (and I have lots of body trouble) or if I will kill myself I shall be placed eventually in that common grave although I think I deserved at least my own peace. And my mother - who knows? We are sometimes mere carriers of different escrows and our lives are needed as such, we cannot pretend to be different in this common home named eco-socio-system or whatever you like. Don't forget about the stars, they are smarter than us. We have to bare with it - our human condition - and care for others. I really respect your grandfather's destiny and fate and I hope he will get peace and you will be well. We are all of us in the same circus and show must go on, we cannot resign from our duties as human beings and life means knowing different things volens-nolens, we cannot escape the scenario we cannot refuse to know things and I for example am not devil or devilish though all the others rejected me more than 45 years and I really wish you to never know the devil itself.
     
  11. MondoCane

    MondoCane Member

    I just wanted to say that we cannot be totally silent or absolutely motionless or absolutely out of the game of knowing or forgetting. I am from another country and another culture and social system and I asked in vain for my freedom and rights for 32 years. Only tortures and prison without any guilt from my part and no abnormal thought or other abnormality at all. I really know my place and I don't ask for pity or help the foreigners. I was absolute goodness and smart enough and hard working but they all sacrificed me. I asked in vain all kinds of international organizations. They're all the same. I am just breathing, that's all . I was rejected all my life yer I offered kindness and calm and love all my life. My life was really fruitful and serene like motivational quotes. It was in vain so many years. It is perfectly true that I asked for life and rights my country first but they all rejected me. I am just like you maybe as a human being, there was nothing wrong about me. I apologize if I offended you by interfering in your story being so isolated for a life time. I apologize here because whatever I said my whole life the others interpreted as the opposite and disliked me. Myself I never harmed others and never had paranoid or evil thoughts about others and I think the best things possible about you too. I am a fellow human incarcerated for 32 years, with no link to other's delusional thought at all.
     
  12. draws

    draws Active Member

    We had the same thing happen when my husband's father died last year. He thought everything was taken care of, and was very careful about that. But, no, there was a big $1400 or so bill still left. We were lucky because he had a car we were able to sell to cover that expense. We were hoping to use some of the car money to cover airfare, so it was still a loss for us. What enrages me and defeats me are those feelings of how fcking hard it is to just do the bare minimum!! Its rough. I like ranting about it. Seems like someone should. Or like you said, what the fuck is wrong with people... why doesn't EVERYONE rant about this??
     
  13. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Yeah, it is just completely ridiculous. Someone dies and then they have to extort as much money as possible from the loved ones. We can't afford a funeral home, the hospital won't do anything, and the woman at the courthouse claimed it is beyond the law now. What are we supposed to do, bury him in the backyard? Damn, these people are just incompetent. I know they are just doing their jobs, but we can't leave his body laying in the morgue until doomsday!!
     
    DrownedFishOnFire likes this.