I went from living in bliss.. Everything was so great. Then oneday, she left me for another. I deserved it, I can see that, now in retrospect. Half a year later.. Now she wants me back.. I want her back.. I'm so scared of taking her back, even though she was the greatest thing in my life, she still is.. But in the end.. did all the joy we had, all the good, cancel out that pain? How many nights I spent crying, wishing I never met her, so the pain I felt never would haved to be experiensed? But I love her.. so much.. I can't stop thinking about her, the feeling when I hold her hand, or pull her close to my chest, smell her hair.. It makes the world stop.. I'm so insecure.. My best friend betrayed me, he sacrificed our friendship, for something he can't ever have, he betrayed me, and left me, for the illusion, of ever getting her.. It's not a loss, it's a sacrifice I gladly make, even though unwilling, it's a victory, his defeat, is for me, a unbelivible joy.. A sacrifice made on his behalf, for her.. I love her so.. How many more of those sacrifices will be made, what will I do for her, what will others? I changed my life for her.. I gave it all up.. The money, the glory, the drugs, the respect.. And then she pays me back the way she did, not even leaving me, just letting me know she found another. The hate buring in me like a furnace, the fire, the drugs.. It's been a wild six months.. And now she wants me back, on her terms. That I change again, and I willingly accept, the fool I am.. A fool that loves her more then life.. What the hell happend, how did it come to this? I'm so lost in my own world, I can't eat or sleep..