What the hell is wrong with me???

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by dahlia_res, Sep 14, 2013.

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  1. dahlia_res

    dahlia_res New Member

    I was in a stupid car accident.
    It wasn't bad. Just got a few minor cuts...
    But I wish it was worse. I wish something worse happened to me. Why? I feel like such a freak...
    I have no idea why. It has nothing to do with people knowing and feeling sorry for me. I'd be grateful if they never knew... If no one ever knew...
    I just want this pain to feel justified.
    I want this depression to be matched. To mean something. :(

    Why am I such a freak? Why...?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    you hun are NOT a freak ok your not and i am sorry you were in an accident which brought all this emotional pain on hugs to you
  3. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I understand how you feel. I have a hard time accepting my problems, my damn anxiety is a handicap but normal people don't understand it that way because I'm not physically handicapped...

    I find that I too don't care really what others know...it's just hard to come to terms with things we've been thought was nothing...you have to unlearn everything...but depression is a handicap that materializes into physical...so hang in there and give yourself a break...don't be so hard on yourself...you deserve compassion and love just like everyone
  4. Sparrow91

    Sparrow91 Well-Known Member

    Hi dahlia,
    Your not a freak and not alone. I feel like that too, try not to think so much about it and believe that you are strong. all the thoughts really harms you more. I had an accident last year, minor cuts but bad back pain and i thought the same thing i wish it were worse. I hate when people know things about me and feel sorry for me so it wasn't for attention. I hurt myself a lot and sometimes I wish it were worse its not a way you would want to go... Depression just sucks a lot out of you just hang on and it'll get better. If you ever want to talk feel free to message me, I'll try my best.
  5. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    I think you feel that you deserve worse. Which is understandable. Sometime we hate ourselves. Sometime we act against our own self interest.

    You are not a freak (any more than any of us are a freak).
  6. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    ur not a freak, okay? I have the same feeling sometimes, and I don't think I am a freak :)
    Nobody here is a freak :)
    So you aren't one either :)
  7. dahlia_res

    dahlia_res New Member

    People like me don't deserve to worry about their lives. Suicide attempts... and wanting to be dead.
    I don't know if the accident triggered it. I just don't know.
    I was doing so much better. I was dealing... And now I find myself alone again. For no reason. Alone.
  8. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    Hey, it's okay.
    Everybody deserve to worry about their lives. Okay, it's not unnormal. We here all love you, even if we don't know you :)
    I tried to kill myself 2 weeks ago and I believe it's getting better somehow. The people here are really helping :)
    U are not alone, you may think ur alone, but that's not true.
    I was doing better also, and what happend?
    Suicide attempt and now I know I'm not alone, because there are people who believe in me and there are also people who believe in you :)
    I think about you, even if I don;t know you and I wish you happiness :)
    Write me if that mabye helps :)
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