I was diagnosed with depression around 18 months ago. I was put on prozac but suffered a bad allergic reaction to it (or so we believe it was, I was tested for streptococcus as my psychiatrist had never seen a reaction to prozac like that but it came back negative and my symptoms had disappeared within a few days of stopping prozac). I have had a few therapy sessions, but I missed a few appointments due to college work. For a time I felt normal and stopped going. Eventually I was removed from the books. The normality stopped after a few months and I have slowly drifted back to the point I'm at now. I have episodes where I become hypomanic and also mixed states and so believe I actually suffer from Bipolar. The hypomania is annoying because my mood can change so rapidly I can have all these ideas and be so dedicated to them but then suddenly move onto something different. The mixed states are annoying because I tend to be depressed but have energy and become agitated and capable of almost anything (I have scars healing on my arm). I have not been back to the psychiatrist. I don't know why. Maybe I'm afraid, I just dunno. Or perhaps I have too much pride to go begging back. I'm worse than I was 18 months ago. Although I planned to kill myself and wanted to self harm, I had never done it. I always had the strength to resist, but not anymore. I am at the point where I can see no future. I have no one to talk to (although I do have friends) and death just seems the easy way out of this, even though I know it isn't. I'm just tired of it all.