What the hell is wrong with me?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Blackhawk1580, Oct 2, 2006.

  1. Yeah. I'm new. Here's the thing....

    I'm a freshman in high school. School's been in "session" for about 1.5 months now. I still don't have a single friend. I know this is normal for freshman, but all the other freshman have friends. I see them all in their groups eating, but I'm stuck in the corner. I try to go with the groups, be friendly, try to fit in, but I guess I'm not their type. Everyone thinks of me of a gothic nazi freak. I might seem like it, but I'm not. I'm actually a pretty nice guy (atleast I think).

    I don't seem to fit in anywhere. Most of the people I hear talking are from the San Bernardino county schools, and I'm from the Los Angeles county school district and it's like we're two different types of animals. I'm used to being around people who are less fortunate and have grown a hatred of most rich people because let's face it, a lot of them aren't too nice. Most of the guys at my new high school are rich. I don't tend to fit in with them.

    Yeah, on top of no friends at school I have no friends at home. (I had friends at my Jr High but they live like 30 miles away and I can't drive) Absolutely NO friends. I do the same thing every day. I can tell my schedule for a tuesday 3 months from now, that's how bad it is. When I get home I don't see friends like normal people around my age do. I just go on the computer and program. I guess in the long run that's good, but what good is a career without someone to share your wealth?

    I hear the people talking in my class. About 85% of them have girlfriends. I know I'm young, but it feels likes it's been an eternity. Some people have had multiple girlfriends and I have yet to have one. I've heard from adults that their relationships as minors have helped them grow later on in life. Am I going to be socialy retarded or something because I've never experienced that phase?

    I can predict most of your answers. 1. You're young, give it time. 2. Go outside and try to make friends. Well, I've come up with some answers for you. 1. Yes, I'm young, but young people need some love too! 2. I'm not allowed to leave the house. I'll tell you the reason for this. I dress in a "suggestive" manor as my parents say. They think because I dress a certain way and listen to certain music that my actions will reflect that. That's a lie. Just because I listen to Landser doesn't mean I'm going to go beat up some black guy, or because I listen to Marilyn Manson doesn't mean I'm going to burn down a church.

    People like to call me a freak. People don't like to hang around me. That's about it I guess because I'm getting a headache.
     
  2. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to SF!!! I am sorry you are going through a bad time. And I am sorry you feel you don't have any friends, but I am sure you will gain friends and a great support now that you found this site.


    If you ever wanna talk or need anything don't hesitate to PM me. There are a lot of people here with problems they are dealing with also, so sometimes the replies aren't terribly fast, but we try our best to support eachother.



    Hoping to see you around. :hug:


    :wave:

    xx

    With hugs,
    Carolyn. x
     
  3. Twisted F

    Twisted F Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF, Blackhawk. Well, you’re not completely wrong. I’ve read that people who don’t have an active social life in high school are less successful in life later on. They make less money compared to others with similar jobs and education, they get promoted less often, they are more likely to never marry, and so on. I don’t mean to bring you down, I just think it’s good for you to know.

    I’m sorry to hear your parents are so clueless about what kind of a person you are. It’s a shame, really. What were you doing with your old friends? Maybe you can find kids at your new school who are interested in the same things. And if you show your parents that all you want to do is hang out and have fun, not burning down churches, maybe then they’ll give you some slack.

    Seriously, though, stay away from that nazi music. Hate and tolerance are both things that are learned, and I can promise you this much, if you choose hate over tolerance, the one to pay the highest price will be you. Now, I don’t know what your actual political views are, but I always consider it a good idea to stay away from destructive ideologies like fascism and communism, and I hope you do too.
     
  4. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Well, thats extremely bad news for me! Sigh....might as well kill myself now. :sad:
     
  5. Twisted F

    Twisted F Well-Known Member

    Nah, it just means you have the odds against you and that you have to work harder to succeed. Maybe it was a bad idea to write that stuff, and I'm sorry if it depressed people. I just thought of it as an incentive to work harder at being social.