My mom died the 14th of April 2011. I only spent about one hour with my mom in the past 17 years. I went 17 years without calling her on the phone. I let 17 years pass by without telling her happy mother's day. For all accounts I stopped loving my mom 19 years ago. So why am I crying now wishing I had my mom? Am I going crazy? Why am I suddenly missing someone who didn't love me?