What The Hell, Might As Well

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Godsdrummer, Apr 27, 2009.

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  1. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Today marks the last Monday I will be alive thru.

    I give up. I am sick, my teeth are failing. I can't stop my coughing. I am running out of money, I am on the brink now with loosing my job, I can't stop drinking, for more than a few days. Plus I am not really over my wife.

    I can't go on anymore. I no longer possess the strength or will to do so.

    I just can't.
  2. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    I don't know what to say.......
    I'm sorry. :hug: That's all I've got.
    I could try to tell you everything will get better but not everything can change.
    I'm just sorry you feel the way you do.
  3. helena

    helena Staff Alumni

    :sad: guess I can't say more :hug:
  4. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hi. have i missed something honey?
    i see you around here, but i have missed hearing news about your job?
    i will look for a thread in case i overlooked it.

    please don't think this way .
    keep leaning on us and keep going.
    i'm having trouble with a job too. i only have part time hours at the
    talk to us hon. :console:
  5. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    But you CAN keep fighting. I know life keeps throwing things at you, to the point where it feels like you can't handle anymore. But you're strong ... you've fought so hard for so long, and you can keep fighting.

    Here if you need anything. Please lean on us when it feels like you can't keep going. We'll help you through. Just don't give up.
  6. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    There is no thread about my job. Though I suppose there could be. I was too depressed on Friday to make it out of bed and go to work, so I called off. I dont really have the time for that, and I am afraid I will be getting an occurance now.
  7. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    It might turn out okay though. They may not say anything.

    What had you feeling so down on Friday?
  8. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Nothing and everything. I can't get over how much of a monster I became during the last 2 years of our marriage.

    And...to make matter worse, my wife, I am assuming, now thinks I am pervert. My daughter found my stash of porn and toys. My daughter isnt upset about it, at least that she lets on, and my wife hasnt said anything to me about it, but I know she will prolly use that against me at court. Not to mention the fact that I keep managing to shoot myself in the foot when I have tried for reunification with her.
  9. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm sure that was an awkward moment (your daughter finding your stash). But even if it did get brought up in court, I don't think it would get your ex very far. You're an adult, and there's nothing wrong with having porn or toys in your own house. I'm sure it's not like you left it out where your daughter could easily find it, but no matter how good you hide something, kids tend to find everything. It wasn't an accident. Try not to be so hard on yourself!
  10. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    My daughter played it off. Like it was no big deal, but she was very curious and asked a lot of questions. She even thought I had become gay, as one of the toys states on the side that it is a P8$$y simulator. She thought it said STIMULATOR, and wondered what a guy would be doing with a device to stimulate the female organ?

    That was the one funny part out of all of this.
  11. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Bill,
    I can only tell you it does get better.. I lost my ex and it took me over a year to put it behind me.. It takes two to make or break a relationship..Give youself more time and when you are out let people know you are available. Who knows you may find Miss Right. You need to be positive when you are out because people pick up on negative vibes pretty quick..
    I have been reading your replys to others and you are a very intelligent and caring person.. You need to work on being more intimate with yourself..There is a good person in there, and I know our fellow members would tell you the samething..Stick with the forum and let us help you thru these times..It has saved my life twice.. Between therapy, meds, and the forum I am not thinking about ending it anymore.. I still think about the thoughts but I won't act on them..I know you can get to this point also, I have faith in you!!Take Care My Friend!!!
  12. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Did something extreme happen? Your meter was just at live the other day.(sorry if you already said it I'm a bit off from the other day still and am missing a lot)

    Anyway you should really avoid doing something. Rarely seems to work and will only magnify your problems.
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