What the **** is wrong with my boyfriend

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by A_pixie, Jan 27, 2009.

  1. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    One minute he tells me I am beautiful, then tells me I would look better thinner, then says I'm beautiful again and buys me flowers.

    We have a fantastic weekend, we both admit to being SO happy with each other, he volunteers all of these opinions, I don't drag it out of him.

    He says thank you so much honey for an amazing weekend you're the most amazing person ever.

    A few hours later he's complaining about the sex. He is having problems finnsihing due to his soriasis, his refusal to form a proper sleep pattern and bad food habits. Apparently this is my fault as he is complaining to me about it.

    I love him though. What on Earth am I supposed to do? This could be such a beautiful relationship, I let a lot of his faults pass, but he keeps on finding new and pathetic reasons to pick holes in it!!!!


    Someone help me....please....I'm going out of my mind worrying.
  2. final_alert

    final_alert New Member

    Does he complain about it to you, or does he blame you, because complaining about it to someone doesn't necessarily imply you're to fault.
  3. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    has he ever said that he likes you for who you are on the inside
  4. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    well he finds new things to complain about a lot but doesn't say it's my fault.

    He says he does like me inside....I'm so confused, he is the definition of blowing hot and cold and the last thing I need is another skitzo in my life...

    He cheered up a lo after I spoke to him yday I don't know what to do.
  5. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    have you thought about sitting down and talking to him, at the end of the day this is about you and him, if you explain how he confuses you and tell him how it makes you feel he may be able to tell you why and some mutual understanding can be found.
  6. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    i think you really need to sit down and talk with him. say that your not too sure where you stand and want to know exactly whats going on. lay it all out there from both of your sides and see what aspects you can both work on and what needs to stay just as it is.
  7. hammockmonkey

    hammockmonkey Well-Known Member

    FUcking dump him.
  8. SadDude87

    SadDude87 Well-Known Member

    He's just venting to you, not blaming you. Women do it all the time, & I used to get frustrated because I felt like I was being blamed/had to find a solution myself. But most of the time its done because they just want to talk about it. He prob just wants to talk about these things too.
  9. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    Tell him his venting makes you feel like he's blaming you for his problems.
  10. Entoloma43

    Entoloma43 Well-Known Member

    How would we know? Ask him.
  11. LastCrusade

    LastCrusade Well-Known Member

    it's probably about control over you. perhaps its a result of upbringing. perhaps even nothing but bullying. whatever it is, talk to him and tell him how you feel, that you need to be respoected and if he loves you, he would refrain from doing so, but old habits die hard so you have to continously remind him just before he starts. over time, he will be changed.
  12. VALIS

    VALIS Well-Known Member

    Well, I am often guilty of this and wondering if it could be the case with you that you twist his words somewhat to hear criticism when there's really none intended on his part.

    I mean, is he flat out looking at your body and saying spontaneously "you would look better thinner" or is he not responding or mildly agreeing with you when you say "I'm fat" or "I would look better thinner." Most guys I've known don't pick up on my insecurities very well and when I get no response when I say I'm fat, I take that to mean he agrees...

    I'm not saying you're the one at fault, I highly doubt that you are, I'm just examining the reasons you could see this relationship as worth your while

    as for the sex thing, that must be frustrating and embarassing for him but if it were me in your shoes, I would feel horrible being blamed for his problem
    You don't owe him sex. this is one case where I would probably yell. I would probably tell him that being blamed doesn't make me want to try harder to please him, and I would probably go recommend that he masturbate if it's my fault

    In any case, make sure to TELL him EVERY time his words hurt your feelings. ask him to do the same, and set a rule that you'll listen to each other rationally and respect each other's insecurities

    I will say though, from your post as it's written it seems like you might have a jerk in sheeps clothing.... let us know what happens ;-)