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What the point of fighting?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Summer.Rain, Jun 16, 2008.

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  1. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Im 23 years old, with no education or job expiriance.
    What the point to fight the depression?
    Even if ill make it and i will feel better, i still think about how hard my life will be
    i will have to work on some shity job to earn few bucks and then to spend
    them on education, that will allowe me to get a better job where ill work
    to earn some more, and then ill spend it on more education...
    But what the point? why should i spend more then 10 years working
    and reciving education? In the end all i will get out of it is maybe a bigger
    house with a bigger TV and a nice car... Is it really worth it? I dont think so!

    Some may say (my ignorant parents) all i need is to find a girl and to create a fammily.
    What for? There is no point! So ill have a GF.. it will not make me feel better...

    Sometime i really think that the reason i was born is some sort of punishment
    for something i done in my previous life or something like that...
    Other times i think that something is just pulling me, its like there is
    someone waiting for me in the after life, and he\she messing with my
    mind to force me to kill myself...

    I remember in my last SA, i felt like something or someone touched me
    it happend twise while i lied in my bed, it even was the reson why i woke up
    in the first place... I was tarrified and felt like there is someone in the room

    In any case, i am more intersted about what is there after we die then
    about this life, and its not like i sad and that is why i want to kill myself
    its more like i cant kill myself and that is why im sad...

    And the only thing i really sad about loosing, and im sure there will be
    no such thing in the after life, is computer games, its my whole life!
    If you think about it, the fact that im atractd to "diffrent" reallityes maybe it
    have something to o with the fact that i want to die!
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello Summer Rain, Life really sucks when depression raises it's ugly face. I have been told with proper meds and proper therapy you can turn your life around and have a more positive one.
    You have it partially right. You need an education now adays or you won't be able to find a good job. You no there are government grants you can apply for. You should check in to them.
    Keep talking to the forum they can help you get by from day to day. I don't mean you will not have to work at it. Even with all the support you get you still need to work at it to keep it from taking over your life. Well keep communicating and I hope to talk to you again...Stay Safe and Stay Strong...:chopper:
  3. Mordred

    Mordred Member

    The only true point is death. For everyone and everything. Nobody will live forever. Some people think they know what's the point. They create an illusion, and so strongly believe in it, that it turns real... at least for a while.

    That's my story, too. I believed that there is something to reach for... And i had some targets. But once i've reached it i found that this was false target, and invented the new one, and started all over again, and again found nothing, and again, and again... It's like mirage in the desert - you desperate for water,and you see the oasis, you run to it and find the same wasteland.

    And this is that most people do - invent themselves a targets, whole life we run from one dream to another, until we get to our true destination - grave.

    All the choice we have is to enjoy this run, or suffer. But it's senseless and pointless anyway...
  4. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    You're only 23. Give life a chance. Then when you're in your 40s, and you think it sucks, you can reject it and do something else. I won't tell you to kill yourself. But there are other ways you can reject middle class existence and not kill yourself.
  5. Mordred

    Mordred Member

    A chance to what?

    You see, you (not personally you, but people like you) allways speak this empty words - give life a chance, wait and see, you are too young, and so on. Blah-Blah-Blah...

    You can't even explain - for what should he/i wait? What can possibly happen? A miracle?

    Aren't you too old to believe in miracles?
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