What to do if problem that you can't fix is bothering you?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by NoIdeaWhichName, Sep 28, 2016.

  1. NoIdeaWhichName

    NoIdeaWhichName Active Member

    I'm ashamed of my mothers nationality and her name.
    She doesn't want to change her name and in my country most people hate her nation. She said that is a shame to change name because of that and even workers in registrar's office told her that so she changed her mind.
    That is bothering me and it stops my motivation for anything. I had interest in sports- well i can't support any national team since i don't have nationality. I had interest in politics - same shit. I had interest in being a history teacher- same shit stops my motivation. ANd i'm good in all of these: politics and history. I'm thinking every night how to end my life, i'm too serious to other people, i take most things personally for some reason, i started looking like a weirdo, i can't focus, people think that i'm crazy and i'm ashamed to talk anyone about that except my mother and she HATES that subject and if i talk with anyone of my relatives they don't give a shit.

    Is that a mental or real problem? My realitves told me that i have mental problem, not real problem because never september 2011 that wasn't bothering me. It stopped in summer 2012 and then it came back in april 2014 and it didn't stop till then. I feel like I have some insect inside my head that is stopping me from anything.
    last few months this stopped but then i had another issue (a video on yt which i was talking about) and now again this is bothering me.

    I already found a place where i'm planing to do it and i need a tool which i will easly get. I'm kinda doubtful and scared. Still not sure if i should wait any longer or do it immediately.

    I want to die.
    Thauoy likes this.
  2. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    I don't know if you have a mental problem or not...but obviously you're focusing on something that you feel is ruining your future and your interests? I don't know your age, but have you considered legally changing your name and moving on? I did it years ago, it was expensive but I saved for 3 years to do it and it made life easier for me to heal and get better. Anyway, that's just a suggestion!
  3. NoIdeaWhichName

    NoIdeaWhichName Active Member

    I don't want to change my name. I want to change my mothers name and she doesn't want to do it.
  4. NoIdeaWhichName

    NoIdeaWhichName Active Member

    If sinisterkid is still here i hope that he can give me some answer. He helped me last time a lot.