I have lots of problems, and am on no drugs, and see no therapist. (Though in the past I've tried both) This morning I had a pint of green tea, then I had a medium coffee from dunkin donuts at noon. I felt not really good, but decent all day. And now (unlike yesterday) I am thinking about a problem that won't leave my head. (Firstly my dad died, and 6 months ago I started posting that I was suicidal and seeking help, somehow my brother found out about the screen name and on Christmas said to me "I know about blank(the screen name that I no longer use). Then he kept on a demonic smile when no one was looking. His life pattern is suggestive of a nonviolent psychopath. But he is so suttle that when I tell my mom things she doesn't beleive me. If I told her about this she would beleive me that he said that, but she would either have a nervous breackdown, or somehow rationalize that my brother didn't know I was posting suicidal messages and perhaps only saw other messages. Thats just an example of the rationalization she would use. After my dad died my brother told me he wanted them to "save my dad's blood" [he was implying that he wanted them to clone him] (we were watching a family flick just me and my brother that had my dad in it, and when talking about how I missed him he said "save dad's blood and....". He finished in the middle of the sentence, he always does that so I cannot tell anyone because it could be interpretted in "not psychopathic way". I'm now not at my home. I'm afraid my brother will continue the psychological tormnent and I can't take it anymore. I have no one to tell. Hes said many disturbing things I won't type because my message is getting too long... What do I do? I have so many other problems, if I call a suicide line and he sees it, he will torment me over that (he may find it on the cell phone bill as we are all under my moms plan) and he will do it in such a way that my mom or no one would beleive me. I feel so alone, sad, terrible. Is what he did considered assisting suicide? The constant harassment is done so secretly and suttly no one will beleive me. I can't tell me mom because I would have to tell her I was suicidal. I can't take it anymore. Also he made many refferences to knowing that I'm suicide (including staring at the location of a rope I had hidden in the house to hang myself with). He would look at the location then smile "demonically" at me. After he did this two times I moved it and hid it. He knows I'm suicidal, and he smiles about it. (Also he is never nice to me). He only is nice to me in front of over people, but when no ones looking or when we are alone he started that demonic smile because he knows that I know that he knows I wrote that I was suicidal on the internet and he wants me to do it. I'm at the end of the road here, I don't know what else to do. To provide example to the above: I told people on internet I was suicidal because I was worried about doing and resume and specifically getting job references becaause I haven't any real friends. And when I told my brother about how I was going for a job he kept saying you need references! Meanwhile he was smirking. Also I asked online if I would become institutionalized if I told a doctor about my feelings. And a week or sooner after that post my brother said out of the blue I should be in a psych ward. My brother doesn't "actually know" that I'm suicidal. No one does. But he does know. What do I do like this, the only person I used to talk to was my mom, but now because my brother is in from school and doing this to me, I am staying at a hotel (this was planned before he arrived because hes been very cruel to me in the past - things I haven't even mentioned here). When someone is being so suttle and literally psychologically tormenting you to commit suicide, how do you solve this? I just can't take it, its too much.