What to do when wife says

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Petal

~*Mod Extraordinaire*~
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#22
One day at a time hun. Sorry you got this response. Sorry she didn't respond in the way you had hoped for. My aunt has Lupus too, all I know about it is you get a butterfly rash and can't go out in the sun for long, maybe she is depressed herself? Why do you think she was so cold towards you?
 

mpk

Well-Known Member
#23
I don't know why she responded the way she did. She has been sick for 12 years and I have tired to do the best I can. I guess the comment hurt so bad because it made me feel like I can't have feelings or that I have to defend why I am feeling the way I am.
 

Petal

~*Mod Extraordinaire*~
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#24
You do not have to defend your feelings to anyone. Your feelings are yours and only you can feel them but if she calms down and decides to talk them maybe take baby steps and work your way up. maybe ask her why she responded the way she did? or would that be asking too much?
 

Brian777

Safety and Support
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#25
It's a tough situation Mpk, at least I'm alone with my dog. Being with someone who isn't supportive seems worse place to be than being alone. I don't understand why people say things like this, she's obviously never suffered from depression or she'd know how you feel.
 

mpk

Well-Known Member
#26
At this time I feel it is asking to much. The comment really tore deep and made me realize how truly I am alone in this, that I cannot even depend on the help of someone who supposedly loves me, how ironic.
 

Sea Sparkles

Well-Known Member
#27
At this time I feel it is asking to much. The comment really tore deep and made me realize how truly I am alone in this, that I cannot even depend on the help of someone who supposedly loves me, how ironic.
Hey, mpk, I was reading through your whole thread (all the replies).

Would you mind listing what state you live in? I could possibly find some resources to free mental health services. There are a lot of programs people aren't aware of out there.

As for your wife. What she said was truly awful. I'm really sorry. I'm not excusing her behavior, please don't' get me wrongly, but let me ask you a few questions: is she on any medication for lupus? Steroids could be causing a more blunt and angry reaction. Another possibility is lupus could be affecting her brain and her cognitive functions (you mention not having insurance- untreated lupus progresses, does she get treatment?) Is what she said and how she said it out of her character? I'm only coming to this conclusion because I suffer from lupus (and other brain neurological abnormalities) and know, I've said things out of fear and anger that were impulsive and I've regretted later: to the point, it's drove me to want to commit suicide (I had no control over the actions at the time).

I hope that you keep holding on and that you and your wife both get at better health and can work through this

(((hugs)))
 

mpk

Well-Known Member
#28
Thank you for your words. I live in Colorado. My wife is on Medicaid so she gets insurance, I have no insurance. She takes a lot of medication for the lupus and all the other issues associated with it.
I am struggling everyday and not sure if I will make it yet continue to try.
 

brknsilence

"Keep Moving Forward"-Meet The Robinsons movie
#29
Keep fighting and keep on going. We are always here to encourage you along the way. So glad you're still here with us :)
 
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