Hi everyone. I have not really made a thread before, but Its sort of an introduction plus what I'm thinking today. I have emetophobia. Fear of vomiting. Yes its silly but its consumed my life for almost 5 years now. Back in April, I was done. So done I committed suicide. And It unfortunately failed and landed in a psych hospital. This place was hell. (thats a whole different story, but they are in trouble for not doing and helping like they should of) So for 9 days after my attempt, I was locked in a place 2 hours from home and only got to visit with my family once (due to it being 2 hours away) Anyway, so I have this phobia of throwing up. Anything that could make me feel sick, or get sick I avoid. I get obsessive about germs and am always convinced its going to come. Its a terrible way to live. I just wish I would of succeeded cause Im still now stuck being afraid of my own body. Everyday I get up and Im nervous, scared its going to come. The anticipation is killing me. I have bipolar, and right now I am taking seroquel. It helps with my anxiety all right but I (in my bipolar way) a few weeks ago, was like ohhh I am feeling better I want to come off. Well it gave me such intense panic, such bad depression, and thats the only thing that is still lingering. I think of suicide, as option C. Theres always that third option. What other option do I have when I hate living in my body, when Im scared of it, of myself. No matter what I do in therapy, it does not take my fear away. I've done everything I can possibly think of. I feel I have no options left.