what to do with pets

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by kuika, Aug 12, 2009.

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  1. kuika

    kuika Active Member

    hi all, am in a crisis spot where a self exit is only option left. my main thing that has kept me going this far is my pets. two are rescue animals from the streets, the other three are from friends, pet shops, etc.

    my question is do i bring my pets with me on my final exit, or do i leave them to an uncertain fate. either option is fraught with difficulties, my pets have been my whole world, im not sure others will care for them like i will, or will some find their way to a shelter and suffer for weeks before dying anyway?

    my options with friends/family are getting limited. now maybe in the grief of my passing they would feel obligated to take some of them in, but its a big question mark.

    do i "take" the final responsibiltiy for them and have them join me? theyre lovely and have every right to continue living, but i dont want to add the confusion of my passing with an uncertain future. jic it matters,<mod edit-gentlelady-methods>
    please advise
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 12, 2009
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    My advice would be to talk about what's wrong ... what's brought you to the point of crisis? There has to be another way of handling this, because your pets need you. They don't deserve to die (that would just be cruel), and neither do you. You can find a way to get through this alive.
  3. kuika

    kuika Active Member

    thx for the reply, ive run out of money, ui benefits, state support would only be for one month, and half my rent only. havent worked in a year, got fired from last job, was a bad fit someone with anxiety and dep shouldnt work call centers, but all i could get.

    so at end of month ill be out of a home and pets will get split up anyway. its been a long slide, been depressed for 27 yrs and seem to get worse and worse jobs, ive seen the how the downward sprial works, im headed to homelessness fast, the pets were the only thing keeping me alive.

    guess i can hope for the best that my friends that have stopped coming around and family im estranged from will step up after im gone and take the pets, i guess some chance is better than none.

    but it is too late for me now, i dont have the strength to do the homeless thing, so as the money is running out, only one option left.
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You said state support would only be for one month. But at least that's one more month you'd have to try and work things out. It would be worth a try anyway. And there have to be other state-funded programs you could contact to see if you could get any more help.
  5. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter

    uhm dont kill your pets.. people will take care of them..
    anyway you should seek some help..
  6. kuika

    kuika Active Member

    thx again for the posts, its what i needed another set of eyes, better to be the creep that leaves his pets behind than the one that takes them with him. with them not being kittens and puppies i worried as the placement rate is low for adults, but i think given the situation, people would step up.

    thanks for encouraging me to get help, the funny thing is when i didnt have the money/job problems i wanted to die, now if i had a way out money wise i wouldnt do it, but the nuts and bolts of the situation leave me little choice.
  7. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter

    I dont think you should leave anyone or any pet behind. I personally always saw my pets as a reason to go on. I need to take care of them and they love me and im sure your pets love you.

    This is weird but I saw a docu about people jumping of the golden gate brigde and there was this guy who had no work and was depressed. The day that he jumped, he had a voicemail that he got the job he always wanted, too bad he never got the call. Ironic and sad, reason im writing this is to make a point; you never know what the future holds in store for you unless you wait it out and see..

    So go for it, even if you have no reason at all aside from your pets, who knows what tomorrow has in store for you. If you like, get some help, that might open your eyes and create doors..

    good luck and sorry for the long post.. ;)
  8. kuika

    kuika Active Member

    dont worry bout the post length, i know from the question i must sound like a monster, but i do love my pets very much, even when family encouraged me to not get new ones after the first two cats died 5 yrs ago, i knew that without them id have no barriers to go.

    two of them are from central america, i was there for a year and rescued them and brought them back, a long story for another time, one was sick recently and i put off working for 3 months to stay with him as his blood was dangerously low and needed to be rushed to a vet pronto if he bled.

    ive gone from over working at a bank and being off for stress leave, then leaving it all behind to chase a dream down south, that didnt pan out, which whileit gave me two wonderful pets, crushed me like a bug to take a swing at the brass ring and miss.

    moved back with family had some promising offers, but didnt turn out, ended up working at a call center again, and against my better judgement. after lots of crud from the company and raising my voice when a customer physically threatened me, i was let go. that was almost a year ago.

    the credit cards have blown up so much if i was still gonna be alive id go bankrupt, but thats not a big stress for me. Its the unmarketability i face having gaps in my resume, getting fired, even when i came back home when i applied for a job, the guy thought i left banking cause i was burnt out (which is ture, but i didnt say that to him)

    im 40 years old, estranged from all family except my dad, who has helped but is tapped out and not in a position to take me in. the usual social/ relationship issues most on the forum have with people.

    each time i try to make my life better, it gets worse. i just see a future of diminishing choices and happiness, and i know the cognitive stuff, its partly my frame of mind. The last five years ive had to swallow so much pride, each time more fight gets taken out of me. i look back at each of the few times i was really serious about doing this, and each time, my family and friends would have been better off.

    but i do appreciate your insight into not knowing what tomorrow may bring, its kept me going a long time, and thats too bad about the guy in SF, they seem to have alot of people do themselves in on that bridge. I know ur all trying to help, and i really appreciate that, its been in short supply recently and i cant talk about a lot of this to friends and family, they dont understand.
  9. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter

    im so sure you will find some people on here who can relate to your story, hopefully that helps..

    SF has given me so much support, people on here are so sweet in general, so please take the time to read some things on here and talk to people. It helps to know you are not alone

    and people who take care over animals like you do are no monsters.. Only people with a heart truly care about animals..
  10. kuika

    kuika Active Member

    thank you, for now all i can promise is to hold on as long as i can, just going myself, if i have to, costs a lot less, no need to rent a van, pay enough on c card to do that, etc. so we'll see what happens, my anti anxiety pills are kickin in so im going to get some rest and see what tomorrow looks like.
  11. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You don't sound like a monster at all. I know you're struggling, but I hoep you can find the strength to keep holding on.
  12. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    I myself am an animal lover. I will be studying pre veterinary medicine fall 2010. The thing is though, if you love your pets, what will happen when you are gone? They look up to you so much. Who will feed them? Or love them...?

    If you can't live for yourself, live for them. They have no idea what is going on in your life, and they love you unconditionally.
  13. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I have the same problem. My two dogs are my life and the only reasons to keep going thru each day. So far that's kept me alive but the suicidal thoughts and desires are getting worse and just existing for my dogs is not enough.

    I hope you can find some relief from your struggles soon. I care.
  14. kuika

    kuika Active Member

    upontherooftop shows my dilemma and why im torn, at the end of the month, i will get separated from my pets cause ill be literally out of money and will lose my home. They dont know whats happening and i dont know what fate will await them once im gone.

    its not like im an emo kid and my girls left me( although im not making light of people in that situation, just highlighting that its not an emotional, but financial issue), although i have alot of mental issues, its plain old money thats making this decision for me. either im homeless and they get split up to who know what or where, or they fall asleep one last time with dad and wont have to worry about being seperated or suffering.

    I appreciate the advice, but from my previous posts, its not a desire to die cause im sad, its that the options of making a living are gone.
  15. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm not trying to be mean at all, but do you really think it's as easy as just "falling asleep?" I'm not going to go into any detail here because we aren't allowed to discuss methods; but chances are, it wouldn't be painless, for either you or your pets.
  16. kuika

    kuika Active Member

    i dont think youre being mean, wildcherry. I was just frustrated after reading upontheroof's post because i felt she wasnt understanding the situation. The pets will be out of a home at the end of the month whether im still alive or not.

    after reading her post ive gone 180 degrees from leaving them here hoping people will care for them when im gone to worrying about how theyll get cared for, and it might be better for me to "take them with me" to avoid that uncertanity.

    this isnt a usual situation where someone is financially stable but for emotional reasons wants to die. I will be homeless soon and 5 pets that love being together will have to be seperated, perhaps some wont find homes and spend a few weeks in a shelter wondering what the heck happened and then get put to sleep, or go to homes where theyll be mistreated, or they may go to great homes. I just dont know.

    but soon ill be without them, and on the streets, and i dont want to go on like that, even if i could get back on my feet, i couldnt live with myself for giving up my pets, so continued existence for me is unlikely, im trying to do the least harmful thing for these wonderful pets who have had the bad luck to have their fortunes tied to me.
  17. Ellex

    Ellex Member

    I am wondering about the same thing with my dog. I asked my parents would they look after him (I didn't specifically say 'if I killed myself' but if something happened) and they said yes, but my dog is old and blind and he'd be a big commitment for anyone to take on. Sometimes I wonder if he wouldn't be better of if I took him with me.
    I guess every pet's life is uncertain from the moment they are born (as is a human's ) because they don't know where they are going to end up. When I see someone beating their dog or just being mean to them I think that could have been my dog if he had ended up having to live with someone like that...this is one of the things which deeply depress me about life, that for some the road is smooth and pleasant, for others not at all, animal or human.
    I do hope you will be able to find a way to keep on living, seems you are in such a difficult position and I wish you all the best. That is easy to say from a distance and won't make any difference to your life but I don't know what else to say.
  18. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    i have a cat who i rescued as a kitten. it wouldnt be right for me to abandon her, so i just, well, hurt.
  19. kuika

    kuika Active Member

    thx for the posts guys, its been quiet for a couple of days. im still here which i guess is good, the chat room has helped, but im still planning for life and death. Ive decided to not take the pets "with me" partly cause i dont have enough money to do it now, according to how i plan on doing it and dont want to do it at home, not fair to landlords to have to try to rent a place after someones died in it.

    im counting on the "shock and awe" of my action to jar family members who no longer talk to me to at least take in my pets either for good or till they can foster them out to more permanent housing.
  20. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Chances are, if you went through with it, your pets would be the last things on your family member's minds.
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