What to do?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by rg43, Jun 14, 2015.

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  1. rg43

    rg43 Member

    It is hard to live in this world when money is needed. I currently do not work because I have something wrong with me and they are trying to get me a new prescription. The side effects can cause much pain and no one understands. I also have bowel issue that I have dealt with for a year but never got a diagnoses. My mom says it is just stress but I cant control it. She does not understand. Even with this problem I got a job and it was miserable. I still had the pain and could not eat or it would affect my bowel. I had to call out of work many times because it was too bad. Then I got a different job for more hours and I still had the problem. I had to endure countless headaches and could not eat or it would affect me. I tried many different foods and nothing helped. It has gotten better now but I still have problems once or twice a week and my mom keeps asking me to get a job because she cant pay the bills because of all the food i eat. I don't even eat that much. I have been called fat and dumb all my life by family. My mom always told be to lose weight. When I was in middle school I was still called fat and she said I needed to lose weight. I was 130 back then. She always says there is nothing wrong with me and you can get a job. I suffer from bad pain with the new prescription and bowel problems and she doesn't even understand. My stress is so bad and she still doesn't understand. I know I have anxiety and that makes problems worse but she still does not care. She makes me go to family things where I am embarrassed and nervous. I can't take it. When I did go to the doctors for headaches she prescribed me an antidepressant and she said I didn't need that. My doctor told me about seeing a counselor. I didn't tell my mom but she would say i wouldn't need one. She has no idea how i feel each day. I have cut myself multiple times in places she could not see. I even choke and punch myself. I never thought I would self harm but the pain feels better than the emotional pain. I currently don't drive because I don't have a job. I wouldn't be able to see a counselor because she would be the one driving me. She would mock me and tell everyone so simplistic and make it to be not a real problem. She doesn't understand how hurt I am. I cant take it anymore. She always tells people why I wouldn't come by basically saying I have diarrhea or something. She makes it like it isn't a real thing. I know I have bowel issues. She thinks it is just because of my period. But I have bowel issues all the time and never before. She doesn't understand how much stress has hurt me. I never felt right since the age of 12. I am 23 now. I have no support from siblings. They know how bad home is but never ask for me to come stay. I don't know what to do. She puts everything on me and tells me I shouldn't have stress because I don't work anymore. She doesn't understand that stress was not only from that. What should I do? I want to move out but have now job. I cant stand my family or her. I will never be able to get the help that I need. She always compares my problems to her. She used to eat bad and drink soda and that is why she had bowel problems. And today she doesn't consume that stuff and it is better. For me, it doesn't matter what I eat I will still have issues. I am so done with life. I get pushed of and my siblings get everything. She spoils one and that person doesn't even have to do anything. I am left to pick up after them all. My father doesn't even care if we get bugs from his crumbs and stuff everywhere. She blames me. I have contemplated suicide for a long time. I am at my last straw. If I told her any of this she would laugh. Make fun of me and tell other people. I really can't do this anymore. I have no support or place to go. What should I do. Please help me.
     
  2. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    First, do you have health insurance? And accessiblity to a doctor? Need to figure out what foods set it off

    Tackling your stomach issues is the foremost thing as it seems to be a root of your other issues right now.

    I have stomach issues that comes from time to time and do understand and get where you are coming from.
     
  3. Hi rg43,
    I understand what it is like to live with a mother who is a very toxic person. No matter how hard you try, the person always seems to have a way of dragging you back down. You said that in your post, your siblings never offer for you to come and stay with them, but it might be worthwhile to ask them directly if you could stay with one of them just until you can get back on your feet. I don't know if you have friends that you trust, but if you do, maybe try asking them if you could stay with them for a while. My experience has been that as long as you are living with someone who only brings you down, it's impossible to get better.

    I knew someone a long time ago who suffered from irritable bowel syndrome and stress tended to exacerbate her condition. Maybe you could ask you doctor to evaluate your symptoms to see if that might be causing your bowel issues.

    It's so hard to not have support from those who are supposed to care about you, but you can find support on this site. You can PM me if you want.
     
  4. rg43

    rg43 Member

    Thank you for replying. I do not have health insurance but I am trying for one. I do want to go to my physician. She is not a great doctor because she really does not like to investigate anything. She is the only doctor in my area. I will still try to see her and just get a referral if she does nothing. In the beginning, any foods affected my stomach. I ate saltines and it affected it. I have come a long way but still have a problem once or twice a week sometimes more. My mom thinks it is nothing. She is my ride to the doctors and I know she is just going to be rude about it. She always like to compare it to her problem. She used to have a problem but she also ate poorly and drank soda. I don't even drink soda and anything can set it off. It goes back and forth. She really does not understand. For my whole life, she told me that I had nothing wrong with me. It is hard to explain a problem to someone you thinks it is nothing. There is no place I can go. No family or friends. I really did not have friends in school. Most of them did not care to listen and most would mock. Thank you once again for replying. It really means a lot to me.
     
  5. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    It could be anything in the foods nowadays. It is so understandable. I have experience with friends who cannot have certain stuff in foods such as one cannot have fake sugar in her food or drink or suffers horrible mirgaines, other one cannot have red dye in any food other one is basically has to be gluten free not because its a fad, she was on it before it was a fad.

    Food allergies is very real and no doctor today should be taking this lightly anymore. Be your own advocate and keep trying to get it figured out. On the days when I need to be near the bathroom I purposely plan my day around it at work. And cannot imagine depending on others or use public transportation when need to go to the bathroom. Its nearly impossible.

    Depending on where you live you can get social services and disability due to the condition but the catch 22 is a doctor needs to diagnose it to start with but can you look into some help in your area or some kind of direction to start somewhere?
     
  6. rg43

    rg43 Member

    I do want to go to my doctors to diagnose it. My mom thinks it is nothing at all and she is me ride there. It is hard to go day to day hearing that. It is hard to work with how I feel each day and my health problems. I can't work because I would call at way too much. I was thinking about disability but I know my mother would just say stop being lazy and get a job. Then she would tell other people. I do not discuss a lot of stuff with my mom because she likes to tell people. Then those people look at me differently. I will definitely try figuring out my problem. Thank you for replying.
     
  7. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Look into something called irritable bowel syndrome. I have it. It is very painful at times but can be treated. Anxiety and certain foods are believed to be major causes. Stay away from milk products and high fiber foods. But check it out on the internet for more information, and I hope you can get to a doctor.
     
  8. rg43

    rg43 Member

    Thank you for replying. I think that is what I have. I do have trigger foods and some fibrous foods help me. Dairy definitely can make it worse sometimes. But she thinks it is nothing at all. She keeps pressuring me to get a job and it is hard when I have pain and have to run to the bathroom. She yells at me when I don't go to family functions which is hard. My family does not eat healthy and they always have junk and high fat foods which make it worse. She doesn't care. She never listens. My siblings don't even understand my problems. I am just done trying to explain it to her. When I was having intense pains she had people come over. There was no way to relax but she didn't care. The pains were so bad I couldn't eat and OTC medicine would not work. They just can't begin to understand how I feel each day. There is always crap in the house and I can only eat certain things. I am just done. There was never a life for me. It is hard to have things wrong with you that the doctors cant help. The pain I had that day was a different problem from IBS. Having something like IBS and the other thing wrong with me makes it hard to live. Doctors don't get back or anything. I am just done. IT seems that every time I try it just gets worse. There is absolutely no help. I am the one that has to do all the chores and she lets my sibling sleep whenever and eats whatever. He eats so much that all the foods is gone in days but she doesn't care. My dad is a complete pig and so is my sibling. They don't pick up after themselves and leave food everywhere. It is completely disgusting. Then she tells me to clean it up. It is so ridiculous. I am never going to be able to relieve my stress while living and no one cares to listen. They have no idea the things I have gone through because of their stupid choices. I never had friends all I had was stress. Stress affects a lot of areas of the human body. Stress for me affects everything and they can't even understand how bad it is when I try to explain it. They just say that I shouldn't have stress. I have been told by doctors that I have the stress of a middle aged person. They don't seem to care. I am really done with it all. I have no support, friends, family, any one at all that is willing to help. I have been contemplating things for a while. Holding temptation off but it seems not to work. I really can't get help because I will get mocked, looked at differently, and be told that I am looking for attention. I am just done with it all. This isn't a life for me. There is no help. This world is run on money and not to take care of its people. That is how it is and will always be and it's sad.
     
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