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What to do?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Kieran, Dec 18, 2007.

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  1. Kieran

    Kieran Member

    i've been thinking about killing myself for months, i attempted it a few times in the past ending up in hospital with a knackered kidney.
    i'm not entitled to help (i previously served in the army which is the reason my heads so messed up, and am currently awol). i was told by the assesors that i would not be allowed counselling because of my history in the army. i told the bloke im suicidel and need help with it, his reply was that its got nothing to do with him and i should sort it myself.

    at the moment i've just lost my job and have started to drink heavly. i can see no way out of this but to top myself. it is impossible for me to find another job and i'll probably be homeless within the next month.

    doe's anyone have any advice? i want to die, but don't want to screw up anyone else's life by doing it.
  2. silver76

    silver76 Active Member

    I wish I had words of advice. But I do understand. I am ex-military. I currently work in a position that requires a clearance, so I can not look for help. I will lose it all if I do. Wish I could be more help than just understanding.
  3. alice0705

    alice0705 Well-Known Member

    I am not sure I understand why you cannot access counseling? Seems like serving in the military would necessitate counseling.

    This place is a good, safe place to come. I know it is not as good as face-to-face. But, in the short time I have been here I feel better. There are people out there that understand and struggle with these thoughts and emotions. If you do not feel like sharing on the big board, PM someone you trust. I imagine you have been through a lot.

  4. Kieran

    Kieran Member

    the reason im unable to get help is that im AWOL. i signed the official secrets act and a civillian doctor/counseller is not allowed to talk to me because of the information i might tell them. i've handed myself in to the army in the past but it just made bed memories come back to me so i ran away again.

    i lost a mate who i'd known since i was 6 years old while serving in iraq and they had to do a blood test to get his identity (because he was unrecognisable).

    whenever i hear fireworks or a car back firing i'm shaking in the corner.
  5. alice0705

    alice0705 Well-Known Member

    Listen, honey, we are here for you. I had a couple of cousins in the military and I cannot fathom what you have seen and gone through. You have a lot to process and deal with and anybody would be having strong emotions. Death and loss are hard anyway, but in a war situation, you have so much more to deal with.

    PTSD is a very real thing. I had it over something smaller than a war and it manifests in all types of ways as you move through it. just remember it will get better and the more you let out your feelings and experiences in a safe place the better you will feel.

    Feel free to PM me or anyone. Maybe some people who have been trough what you have on here like the man above.

    Hang in there.
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