What to do?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by anarulesmenow, Mar 1, 2010.

  1. anarulesmenow

    anarulesmenow Well-Known Member

    Hey I'm a 17 year old bisexual and I've known I was bi since I was about 12.
    I've liked this girl at my 6th form since about October and today I found out that she knows.It doesn't sound like much but it's come at a really bad time.

    I have been so stressed lately and I suffer from Depression,Eating Disorders,Anxiety and OCD.I have also made several suicide attempts in the past and I used to self harm, although I havent done those things for over a year.I also used to have a bit of a drinking problem, and although I drink socially, I was fine with it. I was ok until I found out she knew and it's kind of tipped me over the edge.Everyone at school knew I was bi before and they were fine with it.

    I was walking through school today and my best friend came up to me and told me that in one of her lessons they had a break and were talking about who people fancied.My friend and another of my friend were talking about who I fancied but didnt mention any names and the girl I fancy was in the same room. She went bright red and apparently said that shed known for about 3 weeks. When my friend told me it kinda pushed me over the edge and I went home from school and skipped class, and I have now worked myself through a bottle of wine and I am trying to stop myself overdosing and self harming again.
    I was out clubbing on saturday and the girl I like was there and she was fine with me, she was really nice and we were hanging out and I got her phone number(not in a flirty way, just as friends).So I dont know what to do.I should probably say something to her about it but I have no idea what to say.
    Sorry, this probably sounds kinda stupid.
     
  2. anarulesmenow

    anarulesmenow Well-Known Member

    Anyone?What should I say to her?Should I apologise and say that id never try anything etc etc?
     
  3. Datura

    Datura Well-Known Member

    I'm trying to figure out why you're so ashamed of having a crush on someone.
     
  4. anarulesmenow

    anarulesmenow Well-Known Member

    because she's a girl too
     
  5. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    here's one old man's opinion

    a crush is an attraction that we feel for someone we admire but are either too nervous/young/old to talk to

    crushes are normal and nothing to be ashamed of and i;m honestly not sure if crushes ever really move beyond that

    as for both of you being girls - so what?

    if you can talk to her, just do it as a friend - be friends - maybe nothing more will come of it, maybe it will

    move slowly and be cautious - you may only gain a new friend but each new friend you can make in this life is precious

    i'm married with 3 kids

    my nephew is currently having boyfriend problems but they've been together for a while and i think they'll get through it

    my mother went through 2 husbands before she realized she was gay and she and her companion spoil my children rotten although they make my life generally miserable

    i think love and companionship are concepts that are just too big to try and fit into tiny gender-specific boxes
     
  6. anarulesmenow

    anarulesmenow Well-Known Member

    Ok thanks I sent her a message and this was her reply:


    'Uhh.... right.
    Jane i have known for quite a while now, i don't want to seem impolite but i don't really see what there is to talk over/sort out as its not something i've dwelled on to be quite honest.
    And as for saturday don't worry about it.'

    So I don't think she hates me.Not sure what to do now though.
     
  7. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    just relax and be friends
     
  8. anarulesmenow

    anarulesmenow Well-Known Member

    Thanks I just feel I should say something back to that.
     
  9. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    that's ok

    good luck and be well
     
  10. anarulesmenow

    anarulesmenow Well-Known Member

    Thanks.Any ideas what I should say to her replyJust something to kinda resolve the situation.
     
  11. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    let's see

    you done nothing wrong, so i wouldn't apologize for anything

    she's already accepted it and moved past it, maybe there's no need to say anything

    include her in your life as she was before (without the crush though) - don't step away from her but don't try to push yourself into extra social situations just to prove to her and/or yourself that can spend more time with her and still be "just friends"

    if you say hi to each other, keep doing it

    if you just join others to bullshit over lunch, keep doing it

    i think if you don't try too hard, even if you don't say anything to her right now, everything will work out fine
     
  12. rojomi

    rojomi Banned Member

    go drive a few golf balls. Or throw some pottery. Scream.
     
  13. anarulesmenow

    anarulesmenow Well-Known Member

    Mm not really very helpful Rojimi.I sent her a reply back, like just checking that everything was ok and she said 'Just leave it Jane' so i think she might be mad at me now.