hi all, just need to talk to people that feel and think like i do! im 44yo and have had anxiety all my life. been on medication strong now since 1997 had alsorts of therapy, one2one, cbt, hypnotherapy etc. made an attempt on my life in 05,07 and have thought it over again the last 6months ive been off work with anxiety an bad tension headaches.my boss is considering my suitability as a farm supervisor which ive been doing for the last 10yrs i get quite obssessed wth my work and my attention to detail which is now going to cost me my position!! but ive been off so much in the last 2 years i think they have had enough. my marriage has and is suffering through different things. ive been married 20yrs but last year had a one night stand.i have 2 girls 17 and 19 at sxith form and college. i have so much but as a person i feel so empty with no sense of self and identity.my wife says she lost me a long time ago. im always gauging myself against others i had a very isolated childhood and i think i just dont get other people. ive so many lifetraps etc dependance, entitlement, etc no sense of autonomy. im now on duloxetine 60mg a day which doesent help told my gp ifeel suicidal and waiting to hear from psychiatrist who is very vague to say the least!! i want to live but have no fight in me at all i just cry alot too. when i plan to end it, i play it all out writing letters preparing everything then i cant. i just want to turn the switch off and feel permantely at peace. can anyone help ?? mart.