what to do

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by kitanai, May 28, 2010.

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  1. kitanai

    kitanai Well-Known Member

    ive spent my entire life failing from school to work to doing things i enjoy in life women everything it feels like my life feels over im scared to meet anyone new in my life after my last relationship i know i belong alone i would go back to skating but my knees messed good torn acl then a yr l8r ripped out my mahdiscus ive given up on everything and even after 20 yrs of wishing dreaming pleading to die or commit sucide i pretty much given up there to scared to make it happen ?......... guess i should do what i do best just continue to wait for death
  2. kitanai

    kitanai Well-Known Member

    even being here i feel overwelmed to talk but what im just trying to find is focus to move on with in myself and no matter what i say or vent out it never lets me just let go on to so called exsist in my life i hate all my physical & mental problems i hate life i feel as though im the scum of humanity even the gods would prefer a certain after math... but i wish for life to be non-exsistent a void of nothingness ....peace at last
    Last edited by a moderator: May 28, 2010
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    Just want you to know I'm listening. :hug: I hope you keep talking!
  4. kitanai

    kitanai Well-Known Member

    thats sweet of you to care but this place is just full of ppl doing the same i see alot of ppl here attempting to help & comfort each other most not doing so well due to there depression im the same way i contumplated jumping in front of traffic again today i dont even want to go out like that ...hopefully i start making friends here i could use some
  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Hi Saul....I can hear your pain but please don't jump in front of the traffic...chances are you will survive and you will have more problems to deal with....
    get some help for your deprssion if your'e not already...
    I hope you'll keep posting here so we can support you...
  6. kitanai

    kitanai Well-Known Member

    i dont see myself doing it i dont see myself doing anything but struggle threw life . ive contumplated sucide so many ways all my life i hate it here yet refuse to go out . if i dont change ill be a profeshional hobo the day of my mothers death but with so many problems haunting i cant seem to change i dont take care of my self at all & personaly feel like a plague to anyone who trys to love me sucide is a everyday feeling chaseing me having a dual personalty dont help it has me completely i wanna taste what life has to offer regardless of the out come but i wont even do that i remain the cellar dweller that i am
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