What to do

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by spidy, Jun 16, 2010.

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  1. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    I was doing good 50% of my kids and all having a ball.Yet mother inlaw puts me down when i run out of money yet she gets her own daughter out of sht whts tht.Again 30 min ago i was put down again yet ive been helping fianacially to physically with kids and ex is depressed she gets help cause she needs it but cause i drink and spend most time alone as i dont have mum and dad anymore im meant to deal with mental probs.I just dont know anymore and these ppl are killing me.Ive started to cut agaij and have the urge to die i ll never be the person anyone wants time to die apart from the souls ive produced im dead this time is for real and i wont give a date but its nearing and its all thnx to society.To my mother inlaw hope ya fcking happy BITCh maybe you and ya fat **** of a daughter can live in peace you hypocritical ****S.(Sorry about language all but is how i feel coke a cola wilkl fck thm)and my death on thier concience and thier maker will condem them
     
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    sounds pretty awful what you're putting up with....do you live with them?
    I don't think your death will achieve what you want gav...people like your MIL never take blame where it's due........
    Better you stay around and make a better life for yourself...that's the way to get back at them and show them up...:hugtackles:
     
  3. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    thnks IV2010 im no good to anyone ive done my best.I cant and dont know how or who i am anymore.Thght i could handle everythng could once bt seems im not coping or able to do much im bad father and bad person always have been.Im just dead insideout i know ive posted lots here but i do feel dead so mght aswell make it happen
     
  4. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    Don't do it mate. It's actually been so long since I've seen you! It was ages ago when you did something bad. I can't remember if you took that last dreadful step and tried anything but I'm glad you're still here! Try and hang in there, call a crisis line or something. You're parents-in-law sound like arseholes, lol. Try and stay in and do it for your kids. The mother in law is just a grumpy bitch probly because her husband was never as supportive as you are for you're kids and wife.

    Hang in there :(
     
  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Nonono....your kids need you alive....You will always be their Father and I bet they love you.....
    are you getting professional help?..please do get help ....
    don't take any notice of your MIL....remember all those MIL jokes are there for a reason....
    I think you deserve a medal for putting up with what you do...
    you may feel dead inside at the moment but your kids need you so you gotta find a way to come alive again...do it for them as well as yourself....
     
  6. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    hmm lets see im sick of being judged my kids hating me as they love mum more (i do understand tht happens)others telling me to be who im not i dont seek help i dont get charity like the kids mum does i do it hard yet im just the stupid dumb **** tht cant do shit rght >Worked 40% of my life yet classed as a looser cause im not now by a fat lazy mil and ex.I have f/a left and my kids cop my moods and they dont deserve tht
     
  7. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    sounds like you're being bullied and it's so wrong...
    Is there nowhere else you could go live? away from all that negative **** they're throwing at you...
    doesn't sound like a good environment for the kids putting up with a grandmother like that either...I know that's not your fault....but your dying won't help them at all..
    she needs to be told to shut up...what a troublemaker she is..
     
  8. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    piss thght about it im a no good drinking scumbag.I wont grow up cant be bothered about jackshit anymore these are the thngs my kids should be shielded from.Hmm makes me thnk of the song Cats In The Cradle brings tear to my eye
     
  9. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    especially knowing i ll be a memory
     
  10. carekitty

    carekitty Guest

    Tell your Mother in law to piss off. It sounds like you are divorced from your wife? If that is the case, you have no reason you should have to see the old bat MIL, and tell your wife or ex-wife you want nothing to do with your MIL, and don't want to see her, or hear about her.

    Next, your kids do need you. We always need our dads. Period. Your hurting yourself won't help them, or shield the, please don't kid yourself.

    You're not a scum bag, you're a human being. If making mistakes makes us scumbags, then the whole human race pretty much qualifies. I'm pretty sure if I was judged for my mistakes alone, I would win the scumbag Olympics. But we are more than any mistakes we make.

    It's not too late to turn things around. If you have a drinking problem, get help. Been there, done that. It works, I don't drink anymore. Don't even want to. Go to AA, attend church, see a private therapist, whatever works, but do it. You can get better, just decide whether a life with your kids is worth it. It's be a heck of a lot better for them to see their dad overcome a tough time (because they will hit rough times too, we all do), then see him cash it in when things go rough.
     
  11. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    :hug: You don't have to be just a memory. You're still here, and so there's still hope. Your kids need you, and you're none of the things you said about yourself. You've been through so much, and I know you've had people putting you down. But that doesn't mean what they say is true.
     
  12. carekitty

    carekitty Guest

    Oops, just noticed there are some spelling errors in my post..... Sorry, my keyboard is sticking (so does the poor old brain for that matter......) :biggrin:
     
  13. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    to drink or not to drink Helps get my emotions out plus been drinking since 12yro i know tht aint something to brag about yet dont know any different.Im not violent or typical drunk but do drink in excess in fact aint really alcoholic if i got it i drink if not i dont go out of my way to have it.One thing it helps me to relax and think yet it also helps me to get the guts to start harming myself.I havnt found or can find something tht entertains me and ya prob think "You got kids theres something" should be i know have nothing which is why i think im dead inside.Ive lost all sex drive to loving life even my 4 little angels.PPL aint what they used to be and i aint either and i am just a dead soul waiting to reunite with Mum and Dad
     
  14. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You're not a dead soul. I know maybe you don't feel alive right now, because the pain and the depression are pulling you down. I really hope you don't hurt yourself though!
     
  15. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Sorry this is only place now to talk its all bck what to cut with um how to attempt when what to use every nght driving me nuts and then pressure everyday not to fckup seriously to much to deal with
     
  16. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You're human, we all fuck up sometimes. :hug: You don't have to apologize, you can talk here as much as you want to.
     
  17. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Its the devil tht wants me the more i fght the more mysery i face.It is true happier i get garenteed bigger the fallout is.Got me just time now
     
  18. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You've gotten through really rough times before, and you can do it again. I know it's not easy though, and I know you're fighting against more than anyone should have to. I hope you can hold on, I'm always here if there's any way I can help you through!
     
  19. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    i know but not this time thnxs Alison but im not going thrgh hell again and to be classed as a fuck up.I suffer most days yet nobody will sit and listen the pros need to get to next person ya mates are i dont know scared i suppose i do have this forum yet i feel im a burden other ppl need help more than me um i am lost again do believe it is time soon
     
  20. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You're not a burden, you never have been and you never will be!! :hug: You're not a fuck up, and you're worth listening to. I hope you'll keep talking.
     
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