I just got backfrom takeing care of my parents for the last ten days,..They are 80 and waiting to die..I had to put my dad in the hospital the second day I was there..They both are on oxygen to breath and his wasn't helping.. He was laboring to breath..I know I am following in his foot steps because I have been smoking for 42 years..My question is this, do I want to live like that or follow through with my plan and end it all..I have to go back in August to take care of them again..I don't have it in me..I was a nervous wreck when I got home.. I had to eat two xanax and lay down for a couple of hours just to get myself under control..I don't want to be alive anymore and my friends here keep me going..I'm just not sure how much longer I can hang on..Seeing what they are going thru has really opened my eyes..I've tried three times before with out much luck.. My new method is a no brainer..Should I or shouldn't I ?? I have made peace with the idea and anm not afraid..I just don't know what to do..