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What to do?

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My husband lost his little brother to suicide 3 years ago and his bday woulda been this week. Today he seems so quiet and sad. I've tried comforting him, offering to make dinner, asking how he's doing, offering to go outside for walk... anything? What should I do for him to show him I care? He thinks I don't care but I do, I was there for everything that horrible day too. I remember it all... Granted he wasn't my brother by blood but I loved him like he was my own. I am also depressed, about this and other reasons. But my feelings don't matter. I don't know how to cheer him up... any advice?

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
your feelings matter hun they do
Grieving is such a personal thing is there anyway to commerate his brother do something that will keep his memory alive Just being there helps him hun hugs


Well-Known Member
Keep doing what your doing for a start. Spoil him for a few days.
Like breakfast in bed, cuddling up to him.
He's very lucky to have a wife like you.
I hope that thing's are a little better now that it has been a few days. If he is the type that like's to keep things bottled up inside their might not be much you can do. Grieving sucks. On top of all the sadness he might be feeling at the time People who lose others to suicide also tend to have anger at them for taking their life and leaving. If you want to show you care maybe do something that him and his brother liked to do together . Talk about the good memories, ect. I'm sure it will hurt to bring up the past, but it could show you care and that you still think about his brother and he is not forgotten.


Well-Known Member
maybe he doesn't need cherring up... maybe he needs time? space? just to be able to think.

when he's ready, he'll let other people in
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