I hope this is the right forum. edit: Until a moment ago it was in the crisis forum, since im delaying my suicide for a bit instead of today i put it here. Anyways, something happened in my life. Everyone else would see it as stupid. In fact im not even going to share it here since its so retarded. And its my fault anyways. There is something i blame someone else for, but even though they did something horrible to me its my fault for getting in the situation where they could do that to me in the first place. So something happened today, and it broke me. I cant really go on like this. I look at my normal life and its impossible. I cant continue in this state of mind. School, chores whatever. I cant do any of those anymore. While writing my suicide note i got a call from my father ordering me to do a chore, and i snapped (he doesnt know tho). What i want is to just go into bed and sleep off this feeling, i dont want to work. But thats not really an option, i got stuff to do and my parents arnt going to let me get away from doing those. The thought of doing any of those routine things right now is unbearable though. So thats why im here. A few moments ago i was deadset on dying. But there was someone i wanted to talk to first. Or maybe not talk but just to tell them im sorry. Not for killing myself, since they dont care about that. Well he's a human being so they probably would care if they knew i committed suicide. But im not going to put them through that. After everything else they deserves better than that. So when i die (soon?) they wont know. But i missed them. Twice. I have no other way of contacting them, and i just missed them by a few seconds both times. wait nvm, i just got in touch with them right now. Lets move on to other stuff. I hesitated about dying thinking i need to wait for them and now i just dont know. I still dont think i can continue, so suicide is still in my thoughts. Just not right now. I got my second day of classes tomorrow (new quarter and all). But im really not up to it. In my two hour biology class there's an important assignment, but i really cant bear the idea of going through a whole day of classes like this. Do you guys think i should skip all my classes instead? Well maybe what im really asking right here is if anyone can talk to me tonight. Im alone and got no one else in life. At least not anymore. There's no one else for me to talk to... edit: How did i even fuck this up? Ignore that last line, what im wondering right now is whether to skip class or not.