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What turned things around for you?

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#4
The right meds initially. After lying in bed paralysed by pain for months, I asked my doctor for help and within days I went from wanting to die to stop the pain to the pain vanishing. I know this hardly sounds credible, but it's the truth.

To stop it coming back I had to uncover the roots in my own thinking/mindset which were blocking full healing. Learning to meditate was /is a big part of this.
 
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MosesY

Functioning Alcoholic
SF Supporter
#6
I was psychotic during bipolar mania and had decided to end my life. My boss realized something was wrong and talked me into going to a mental health hospital. Since then I have worked with that facility, got a psychiatrist and was in therapy for a while. After about 10 years of this I made a covenant with myself that I would never end my own life. Never. There are a lot of people I would hurt. My supervisor at work would lose a very talented and hard worker. My friends at work would be impacted. My psychiatrist would feel like she failed me. My daughters would lose their dad. My 7 siblings would be devastated, feeling like they failed me. My parents who are in heaven now would probably feel bad about it. My ex-wife would be angry at me. I believe in an afterlife and I believe ending my life would also affect my afterlife. I made the safety plan, I have people I can call at 2:00 am and talk. I will never end my own life.
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#7
Support, support, support.

I did not have support for a long time and I was a complete mess, support changed everything for me. I think if you are still feeling suicidal after all that therapy etc.. you need to change your support system completely. I started with peer support, then nursing support, then community support, support from a new psychiatrist and other support groups.

I did see you mention before that you sometimes pretend you're fine on the outside, that is a band aid, its not going to last. You need to engage in whatever type of supports you can find within your community, I understand your fears about embarrassment but this is life or death so engage in as much support as you can, I guarantee you there's support around you that you are probably even unaware of, google is your friend there.

I know you are an amazing person, you deserve all the support in the world so reach out and grab it.
 

Lane

SF Supporter
#10
Support, support, support.

I did not have support for a long time and I was a complete mess, support changed everything for me. I think if you are still feeling suicidal after all that therapy etc.. you need to change your support system completely. I started with peer support, then nursing support, then community support, support from a new psychiatrist and other support groups.

I did see you mention before that you sometimes pretend you're fine on the outside, that is a band aid, its not going to last. You need to engage in whatever type of supports you can find within your community, I understand your fears about embarrassment but this is life or death so engage in as much support as you can, I guarantee you there's support around you that you are probably even unaware of, google is your friend there.

I know you are an amazing person, you deserve all the support in the world so reach out and grab it.
Its hard to reach out. It is hard to handle alone. SF is a great support @Champagn. And YOU vital to here...as all members.
 

Lane

SF Supporter
#12
Time. I'll always struggle. But never be as low as the lowest points in my life when some terrible shit happened, age 12, 40. I had some very good things and people, opportunities as well. On good days, I know I have to live because "it's not my time". A crisis counselor told me that when he came to my house, mmmm, 12 years ago or so.

But now. I've overcome obstacles and my life isnt how I envisioned it but it's truly ok because I made it that way, through sacrifice. And loss and that constant battle in my head of my past, knowing where I came from has got to be what keeps me going.
 
#13
couple years ago When i was having problem with suicide thought i used to ask myself a lot of questions such like why do we suffer? why do i have to live like this? what's the point of this? where is god? when i was searching for The answer it's leading me to the philosophy of stoicism, and that's when i started to learn how to embrace the cruel reality of life, understanding the nature of human being and understanding aspect of life that we can or we can't control. this is really helped me going through a tough time and it's all started by simply just asking a question to yourself.
 
#14
Support, support, support.

I did not have support for a long time and I was a complete mess, support changed everything for me. I think if you are still feeling suicidal after all that therapy etc.. you need to change your support system completely. I started with peer support, then nursing support, then community support, support from a new psychiatrist and other support groups.

I did see you mention before that you sometimes pretend you're fine on the outside, that is a band aid, its not going to last. You need to engage in whatever type of supports you can find within your community, I understand your fears about embarrassment but this is life or death so engage in as much support as you can, I guarantee you there's support around you that you are probably even unaware of, google is your friend there.

I know you are an amazing person, you deserve all the support in the world so reach out and grab it.
I can’t really say I’ve turned around yet. I would say I am at the start of my healing journey, perhaps, maybe. But support is what I now have that I didn’t before. I am no longer alone with this.

I have a number of hurdles I need to cross, one is that I find that when I need support, someone to talk to, I can’t actually bring myself to ask for it or pick up the phone. I have access to a mental health nurse now who checks on me regularly but it’s her day off today and she’s doesn’t work weekends. I’m feeling edgy, anxious and empty this afternoon so contact would be nice but I can’t. Even if she was in work I wouldn’t ring her. Just haven’t got the confidence to pick up the phone. Not sure what she would do anyway. I have friends and family who I could contact but I don’t know what I’d say. Hi, feeling crap, want to have a coffee? Yesterday was better but I had things planned, people to meet. Today I’m struggling with nothing than mundane things to keep me occupied and no one around.
I’m currently in the state of mind where if I had the opportunity to take my life then I would. If I could get there I would go and contemplate the final step. I suspect the opportunity won’t arise and I’ll still be here tomorrow but it means the idea hangs over my head all day like a black cloud.
I wish I knew how to contact someone at the time that I really need it, rather than battle on my own.
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#15
I can’t really say I’ve turned around yet. I would say I am at the start of my healing journey, perhaps, maybe. But support is what I now have that I didn’t before. I am no longer alone with this.

I have a number of hurdles I need to cross, one is that I find that when I need support, someone to talk to, I can’t actually bring myself to ask for it or pick up the phone. I have access to a mental health nurse now who checks on me regularly but it’s her day off today and she’s doesn’t work weekends. I’m feeling edgy, anxious and empty this afternoon so contact would be nice but I can’t. Even if she was in work I wouldn’t ring her. Just haven’t got the confidence to pick up the phone. Not sure what she would do anyway. I have friends and family who I could contact but I don’t know what I’d say. Hi, feeling crap, want to have a coffee? Yesterday was better but I had things planned, people to meet. Today I’m struggling with nothing than mundane things to keep me occupied and no one around.
I’m currently in the state of mind where if I had the opportunity to take my life then I would. If I could get there I would go and contemplate the final step. I suspect the opportunity won’t arise and I’ll still be here tomorrow but it means the idea hangs over my head all day like a black cloud.
I wish I knew how to contact someone at the time that I really need it, rather than battle on my own.
Hi there, I understand it is your nurse's day off and that one might think it would be rude to call her, but if you are at the stage where you feel you could take your life given the opportunity, I think you should ring her. I'm sure she would understand and listen and help, she's in that profession for a reason, obviously nurse's like to help people, a day off? Not that much of a big deal when its life or death.

I'm sorry, I can see you find it incredibly hard to reach out, all I'm saying is you could, I have often called my team on day's off and they were more than happy to help me. The Samaritans is an option too if you just need to let it all out of your listen without risk of someone calling an emergency service. You do not have to battle alone, I know it can be hard to reach out too, it definitely was for me in the past so I actually get it :(

You could call a friend to take your mind off the thoughts for a while, you certainly don't have to tell them things you don't want to but use the chat as a coping mechanism/distraction. I wish I could offer better advice and I'm so sorry for how you are feeling, life can be very cruel at times.

I am here too for you, always happy to help. Lots of care and hugs *hugJust a PM away x
 
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#17
Hi there, I understand it is your nurse's day off and that one might think it would be rude to call her, but if you are at the stage where you feel you could take your life given the opportunity, I think you should ring her. I'm sure she would understand and listen and help, she's in that profession for a reason, obviously nurse's like to help people, a day off? Not that much of a big deal when its life or death.

I'm sorry, I can see you find it incredibly hard to reach out, all I'm saying is you could, I have often called my team on day's off and they were more than happy to help me. The Samaritans is an option too if you just need to let it all out of your listen without risk of someone calling an emergency service. You do not have to battle alone, I know it can be hard to reach out too, it definitely was for me in the past so I actually get it :(

You could call a friend to take your mind off the thoughts for a while, you certainly don't have to tell them things you don't want to but use the chat as a coping mechanism/distraction. I wish I could offer better advice and I'm so sorry for how you are feeling, life can be very cruel at times.

I am here too for you, always happy to help. Lots of care and hugs *hugJust a PM away x
Thank you @Champagne I don't know her number unless she is at work. She tells me I can contact the office and speak to one of the others in the team but it just feels awkward. I have been given so many different numbers including the crisis team but as yet have failed every time to ring. Instead I tend to try to ride it through on my own. My husband is here with me and I have no means of getting out of the house so I am safe. I think today has been strangely quiet and unstressful which you would think should be nice. It just feels odd and strange because I never not have any stress or pressure. Perhaps I don't like the feeling of the lack of stress because it is so unfamiliar and all I am doing is waiting for the next major disaster to hit. Still on high alert but with nothing on the horizon. Thank you for saying that you understand how hard it is to reach out, its nice to know it's not just me. This is something I will need to work on perhaps and not full back onto my standard response of 'I'm ok'! Take care and I hope everyone has a lovely weekend.*hug
 
#19
The right meds initially. After lying in bed paralysed by pain for months, I asked my doctor for help and within days I went from wanting to die to stop the pain to the pain vanishing. I know this hardly sounds credible, but it's the truth.

To stop it coming back I had to uncover the roots in my own thinking/mindset which were blocking full healing. Learning to meditate was /is a big part of this.
Thanks Lara. I cannot even find meds that help in the least. Except for a benzo.....
 

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