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What was it that drove you over the edge and made you do it?

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by downunder, Jul 12, 2008.

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  1. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    Was just wondering what it is that drives people to the edge, and make an attempt?

    For me it was death of my daughter, and also just seeing the doctor at work who makes the decision whether you have a job or not, (seem to do an attempt every time I see her either before or after). The work doctor also said that I wouldn't be able to see my workplace counsellor anymore and she was going to make me see someone else. The media hassling me constantly and putting untrue news in the paper about her. I even found an article about her on a couple of depression web sites. I was at the doctors and I open up the magazine and there was an article about her, I ended up ripping it out of the magainze.

    Also the council trying to get rid of one of my dogs and work place bullying. Also add in internet bullying, I made a nice tribute site to my daughter, which had lots of nice messages from people all over the world. Then some nasty people blasted it with thousands and thousands of nasty messages and I had to delete it, it was like saying goodbye to my daughter again. Also the other horrible web sites with nasty stuff about her (these people do not even know her) she suicided.

    At one stage my boss was yelling at me whilst I was talking on the phone to someone and I said to myself, right that's it I am out of here, and made an attempt that night. My other boss saying to us as group that if we couldn't do our job he would find someone else that could.

    I know of these reasons might not be a good enough reason but to me at the time it was.
  2. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    You know.. that is why i have reall problem to work at all
    my life expiriance is about people just like the once u said
    this piss of shit people who dont give a shit about anyone but themselfs...
    Yet it looks like that you turn your anger toward yourself
    as for i me i turn it towars my boss, which results in bad things...
    that is why i loose many jobs, and you can loose your life. :(

    I cant really give u any advise, i dont work
    but i hope u will undarstand that turning fealings toward yourself
    may result in something that u dont want to happen.
    I wish u good luck with your job
  3. supermodel

    supermodel Well-Known Member

    I was about to get evicted and have my car repossesed. My love life was in the toilet (as it remains) and I just didnt want to live anymore. I left for work that day looking at my apartment thinking it was the last time I would see it. I left three letters for my family members and friends and told my daughter goodbye (she was four and didnt really understand)

    I came home that night.
  4. Ingjr

    Ingjr New Member

    For me the final step has always been failed relationships. That and alcohol. I've had several attempts while I was drunk, and zero when I'm sober. Now, well first failed relationship sober, and it's not much easier.
  5. bono

    bono Well-Known Member

    For me it never amounts to any event in particular. It's more of a cascading effect of lots of small things going wrong. When nothing seems to go your way for long enough, you lose hope that things will get better.

    Suicide is final. If you can't do it sober + drug free, you shouldn't do it.
  6. Event_Horizon

    Event_Horizon SF Supporter

    For me it was a whole host of things. The death of the woman I was going to marry hit me the hardest but then after that it was like the small losses added to the larger loss to the point it got unbearable. After the loss of the security of my home after some one breaking in while I was in I kind of lost it. The last straw after that was phoning the crisis team telling them what I intended and them telling me they would ring me tomorrow. I just laughed a little insanely and made my attempt.
  7. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    someone i used to know- was in an abusive relationship with.
    generally a lot of suicide attempts were done when i used to know that someone.

    i don't think they were very good suicide attempts they were generally cries for help. i don't think i even wanted to die. i just wanted the pain to stop, and ended up in hospital a lot.
  8. Rachael41

    Rachael41 Well-Known Member

    the thing for me, was when i heard my mum and dad arguing...i had had a bad day at skl, i was gettin into trouble, my friends didnt understand and my sister had just moved out......

    I felt alone....and i just had this voice in my head telling me "u dont want to live so just do it!"

    and i just had to tell myself to have some guts and do it :)

    obviously i failed............
  9. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    for me it was the pain of believing the messages my family gave me, ie. that i was ugly, useless, worthless. because i believed their lies i thought that i'd always be alone. it is terrible to feel that lonely.

    with some counselling i just see these messages as propaganda. i am learning to recognize them for what they are, lies. the less i hate myself, the less i want to attempt again. it is a good feeling.
  10. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Things that seem like nothing to others but are everything to me. The fact that they just keep piling up and no matter where or how I turn, they never stop. And after several attempts, those things are still there and more just keep coming.
  11. StangerInAStrangeLand

    StangerInAStrangeLand Well-Known Member

    What drove me to the edge (which I'm still at) is an irrecoverable financial situation (persisting through bankruptcy), knowing I can't work, I faced some horrible bullying and harassment at my last job which damaged my self esteem so much I'm still trying to fit the pieces back together, and having an unsupportive family who doesn't care at all about whats happening to me. Not to mention dozens of other problems - but I don't want this to look like an essay on bad things. Needless to say, I've lost close family too and have been the victim of abuse at the hands of a stranger. Guess you could say I've got everything that would make someone want to die (which I'm still working on).
  12. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    The constant flashbacks. Living things over and over again. I survived once, but that doesn't mean I can keep surviving it again.
  13. Broken_Heart

    Broken_Heart Active Member

    Mine was a medly of events: my best friend dying, my parents divorce, excessive bullying at school and other places, and then i got influenced by how my older brother got into cutting, drugs, alcohol and other things.
  14. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Mine's a medley of things also;
    Multiple loved ones deaths all within the space of 2 years
    Family problems
    Friendship and bullying problems
    And that's about it. It all kinda built up and up till i started attempting suicide a year and a half ago. Since then iv attempted nine times.
  15. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    It's mostly how I feel at that given moment. When I get to thinking about how I see myself and how the world sees me.... I get very depressed and often suicidal.

    Sometimes I feel so different that no one could ever understand me.
    I don't want to live in a world where I can't be happy for who I am and what I do.
  16. Clockwork Reality

    Clockwork Reality Well-Known Member

    Having a bad turn of events at work and getting fired, my parents nearly getting a divorce, post-traumatic stress for something I'm not going into here, distance from friends and family, marriage dissolving . . . all in the space of six months. They say that adversity makes you stronger but it sure likes to pull some sucker-punches.
  17. Amber

    Amber Active Member

    I sortof just.. got sick of my life.

    I mean.. I dont have a job.. am too afraid to get my license.. and have all these scars on my arms that wont go away. Life sortof REALLY sucked at that moment so.. there were pills and alcohol.
  18. Izziebabystar

    Izziebabystar Well-Known Member

    to put it in short
    my family wernt suportive
    id lost my best friend and my boyfriend
    bith of whom had killed themselves
    i was trying to do my gcse's
    things got on top of me
    i blamed myself for there deaths
    i couldnt cope or see another way out
    so yeh
  19. FutureSeek

    FutureSeek Member

    It was in the aftermath of a very abrupt abandonment by my first therapist. I had become very dependent on her and in eight months of therapy she never really was paying attention. I was spiraling downward on alcohol, in an unhealthy increasingly violent relationship with a drug addict and alcoholic. I had no friends or family who cared. About two weeks after my therapist announced she was quiting I finally reached the point where knowing I was abandoning my pets wasn't enough to deter me. I had been drinking at the bar, but not drunk, came home and reflected on how none of those people cared what happened to me and how really no one ever had.
  20. Tree1055

    Tree1055 Member

    the failure of one organ I needed. My eye. i can't become what i always want to be. No surgery, and no fixes. i fought through abusive parents, being lost in the school system, fighting obesity, and i hit something that I can't change. blind in one eye. I'll never be a police officer, and saying that gives me pains in my chest. It's a reality, pure and simple, but i can't get over it. after I heard that news and realized I couldn't do anything, my attempts and depression began.
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