What was meant to be my last day of life

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by Fergul9, Jun 9, 2012.

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  1. Fergul9

    Fergul9 New Member

    I'm not a poet but could relate to a lot of the posts on this thread and thought this was a good introduction to me and the way I feel. Today was meant to be my last day on earth, but messed it up again. Went for a nice dinner with my hubby last night, thinking that it would be a great way for him to remember me, but the pain of my conscience and what my death would do to him got the better of me and I cried which alerted him to what I was planning. I hate the fact that I always put everyone else first and won't commit this one last action for me to help me.

    Trying to be strong,
    But always getting it wrong,
    I’ve always put others first,
    So how come I come off the worst?

    Write it down, let it out
    Those feelings inside that make me want to shout
    Scream with the pain that I feel on the inside
    The pain that I always hide

    Why do strangers have to die, when I’m the one who suffers?
    Who wants to swap with them instead of hitting the buffers
    Too nice to kill myself for what it’ll do to others
    Live with the pain that suffocates and smothers

    I want to be strong, to feel the will to live
    But so worn down, I’ve given all I can give
    From the outside I have the perfect life,
    on the inside I am already dead.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Fergul9 many can relate to these feeling hun trapped here I do hope you do put you first in a way of getting some much need help for YOU hun Go into hospital for a stay get your emotions your suicidal thought at bay ok Let someone help you don't fight these feeling alone some rest some respite for you hun try some newer meds new therapy but do what ever it takes to get YOU feeling well hugs
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