What Went Wrong?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Shadowlands, May 13, 2007.

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  1. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I have too much time thinking of what went wrong in my life. Now it seems that it is everything. Was there anything I did right? I can hardly say so. As far as I remember there is not a single thing that I could say that I am really proud of or happy about.

    For you young kids around at least there is the argument that you have the whole future ahead of you. I have a brilliant future behind me. Thinking of it is like having eaten knives for dinner. I've cut myself. This is nowhere near lethal, but feeling at least real pain makes me feel a bit alive. I imagine when I die there should be blood. Fuck this!
    Last edited by a moderator: May 13, 2007
  2. run4fun

    run4fun Well-Known Member

    how old r u?
  3. blade

    blade Well-Known Member

    yes but some of u s r young and we dont know what made us like this even though were young.

    i mean like i turned 15 on 9th may. ....young i dont know how i got so misrable.
  4. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Im 32 now. Plenty old enough.
  5. run4fun

    run4fun Well-Known Member

    i'm 37.
  6. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    What is really sad is that when I think about it there will not be anyone else in my funeral when I'm gone beside my parents and my brother. Perhaps some casual distant relative or an old co-worker drops by but there will only be a handful of people. I just hope it rains that day real hard. I generally never cared about having friends or bonding, but now that gives more reasons for why I should be leaving this place.
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You are still young Shadowlands. There is still a lot of future left for you should you choosse to let it happen. I haven't had the opportunity of chatting with you, so I don't know you at all, but I am sure there are things in your life that you have done right. When we view things through the eyes of depression our vision is definitley obscured.All that can be seen are the negative aspects of everything. You mention your parents and a brother. Ask your parents to recount things that you have done that were in a positive light. Maybe they can help you to remember. I have read a few of your posts gere at the forum. I would say that you are doing positive things here, so there is one thing you can be proud of. I am sure if you explore it there are others. Plese don't give up. :hug:
  8. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    By the words of George Bernad Shaw: "The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." Of course I hope others can have happy lives, but I think I do not have any hope. That is mostly the reason for me being here: There may not be much left for me but perhaps others can still raise above darkness, and perhaps when I am ashes a small piece of me, the best piece, lives in those who do.
  9. paranoidxe

    paranoidxe Well-Known Member

    Society is pretty negative which leaves us thinking nothing but the negative aspects of our own lifes. I'm sure with a little bit of thinking you can find some of the positives you've done in your life..

    Course the positives I've done in my life only lead to negative consequences...example..
    Co-signed for my girlfriends father so he could get a home for his kids, he didn't pay one month so I lost $895 because I had to pay a month.
    Co-signed with my friend to get a cell phone, he didn't pay it, got a early termination fee, a collections notice, and $400 worth of bills..some friend eh?
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