What will happen if I tell my therapist I want to kill myself?
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My mum took my phone because I was talking to my step dad that she is separated with, so I now have no contact with anyone, I am using my computer which she will most likely take before the end of this week, I'm not allowed to tell anyone that she took it, and if I do she said she will smash it, I have to act like everything is fine because if anyone asks her what is wrong with me eg. why am I crying, upset, depressed, etc., she said there will be serious consequences. I'm not allowed to live with anyone besides herself, my step dad always calls my phone to say goodnight to me and my brothers, and if I don't answer he calls my mum's phone. My mum said I'm not allowed to talk to him. I need my computer for school because it is necessary, I have no contact with my friends or family because I only have their number or messaging contact for a messaging app. I have no idea when I will get my phone back, I know no one's number, I am at my step grandparent's house for the day today, and go back in the afternoon. I don't want to go home, I am afraid that my mum will beat me up, I don't think has before, or yell at me, which she does everyday. I don't know if she will let me go to my therapist on Thursday. She will most likely not let me see my step dad on Friday. I am not allowed to tell anyone what is happening. She told me to pack my bags and leave last night. I did nothing wrong. I am very very scared of going home. She told me all of this is my fault, and she hopes that I am happy with myself.
maybe this will help you know more about the process etc
http://www.health.wa.gov.au/Services/category.cfm?Topic_ID=5
http://www.health.wa.gov.au/Services/category.cfm?Topic_ID=5
She's been checking my phone, she knows my password now, I am in heaps of trouble because I deleted all my messages including the ones to my step dad. Also she was looking through my photos and found a quote that I had screenshot and the username was dark, I didn't realise that was the username, I was just looking up quotes. She said she is going to go through everything in my phone and see if I am allowed to have it back...I don't know what is on there..she said if I tell anyone that she took it she will smash it, and if I am sad around anyone and they talk to her about it, there will be serious consequences...I don't know what she will do..she didn't even buy my phone, my dad did..she said it's hers now...I'm worried someone will message me asking personal questions because she will see it...I'm at my friend's house that she made me go to because she won't let me stay at home whilst she's at work any more..
My mum found this forum in my search history on my phone. She only saw the bit where I asked the question, but she talked to me for ages and made me hug her and everything and told me she "loves me" but I don't believe that, she said her dad killed himself and she doesn't want anyone else to do it, that I'm her baby etc etc. She made me take sleeping pills last night and made me stay in her room and I had to sleep in her room with her, and she wouldn't let me close my door or lock the bathroom. We went to my therapist and my therapist convinced her to give my phone back, that I'm not allowed out of her sight, I'm not allowed to be alone, etc. My mum is making me eat food. She's hugging me, I hate hugs, and telling me she loves me and I have to talk to her. I don't want to talk to her. My therapist told her how I am feeling and what she should do, that I don't believe that my mum loves me, etc. My dad called a few hours ago but I don't know how to tell him that I'm suicidal. I'm not allowed to touch the sleeping pills unless my mum is with me. She asked if I had a plan and she said that if I don't tell her then she will send me to the hospital. Basically I am on suicide watch. I hate it. I just want to die in peace. I'm not allowed to talk to my step dad unless in person, I'm not allowed to tell him anything so there's no point. Now it's harder to push people away so less people will miss me. I hate it so much.
So I ended up telling my therapist and also about my self harm. Nothing has worked. I have a plan and I honestly am so scared to go through with it. It is soon. People are starting to notice that I am not my usual self, as I try to hide everything, and it is getting hard. There is a high chance of me surviving, but I am still scared. I am also relieved. I am a mix of emotions. My friend that I usually tell things to has had enough. I will probably get scars from my sh now as well. Oh well.
Had to write this down somewhere, but this post will probably be deleted soon.
Had to write this down somewhere, but this post will probably be deleted soon.
by law they have to take action & bring you to the crisis department of your hospital. they can lose their job if they don't take full action to prevent you from doing it & it is mandatory for them to do what it takes to keep you safe & alive.
I have been hospitalized multiple times for suicide ideation & attempts, it will keep you safe & they will keep you as long as they feel the need to until they know you're safe to go home. they will work with you to help you.
but yes, your therapist has to do something to keep you safe if you disclose the information to her. but that's her job.
it will be okay darling<3
I have been hospitalized multiple times for suicide ideation & attempts, it will keep you safe & they will keep you as long as they feel the need to until they know you're safe to go home. they will work with you to help you.
but yes, your therapist has to do something to keep you safe if you disclose the information to her. but that's her job.
it will be okay darling<3
I'm pretty sure I am seeing my therapist the day before "the date". I will tell her then. I'm not sure what she will do and how my family will react though. When I told her I started self harming she made me promise her I that I would not do anything until I saw her the week after, but when I refused to promise she just said that she has to tell my doctor. She didn't send me to hospital, thankfully. But it seems that she will if I tell her about my plan. I know that their will be a lot of family drama if that happens.
I am feeling many emotions lately. I am reliving many of my childhood memories, and think about my family a lot. It is very strange. Even memories I didn't know existed are resurfacing. They aren't necessarily bad ones, just random memories. It is very strange.
I am feeling many emotions lately. I am reliving many of my childhood memories, and think about my family a lot. It is very strange. Even memories I didn't know existed are resurfacing. They aren't necessarily bad ones, just random memories. It is very strange.
I am below rock bottom. I am ready. Next week is the date, I will do it. There will be no stopping me. Even i f I tell my therapist the day before that I have a plan, and then I get sent to hospital, I will do it as soon as I get out and am off suicide watch. And there will be no one to stop me. I am ready. I am no longer scared. I am calm. This is my life, and this is the way it will end. If I fail, nothing will stop me until I succeed. This is my life, and this is my choice. I did not have a choice to be born, but I have a choice to die. This is not the last post I will make, I'm sure something worse is going to happen soon.
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