what would u do?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Insignificant, Jan 2, 2007.

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  1. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    today i went in to my therapy appt. no biggie right? well, at the advise of a friend i was told i should share what's been going on with me. things went silent then my therapist tells me for his sanity's sake he may have to let me as a client go because my feelings are too much for him.

    honestly now the way i'm feeling i want to just give up on everything. therapy, meds, coping and life.

    what would you do if you were in this situation? i would really appreciate some input here. thank you very much in advance
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    WTF !!!! Have no idea what to say to that, have never heard anything quite like it.

    If your therapist is this fecking fragile perhaps you'd be better off with a different one.

    Sorry can't be more help, but honestly that has got me stumped.
  3. shellz

    shellz Guest

    Well, I think that if I were in that situation I would try looking for a different therapist. Maybe not right away, but, I would keep it in mind. I wouldnt give up all hope on it just yet.

    He's a therapist for christs sake. If he cant even help you out because of your problems, then maybe he shouldnt even be licensed anymore..

    Thats my own opinion though
  4. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    i don't know what to do. i have been considering this is the second time this has happened to me so maybe it's just time to give up this whole therapy thing. after all if i have done this to two people it's likely to happen to me again. i leave someone else feeling this way.

    i've been told it's his problem and maybe so but now he's made it mine on top of everything else. crap
  5. bipolarkitty

    bipolarkitty Well-Known Member

    He should never have told you that for his sanity's sake your feelings are too much for him. All that does is make you feel like it's your fault. It's NOT your fault that he's having trouble dealing. It's his problem, not yours. If your feelings are too much for him, then maybe he needs to find a new line of work.

    I think you should find someone else. Hell, if it were me, I'd probably report him to the ethics board. He should never dump on you like that. I know if I were dumped on like that by my therapist, I'd probably be so suicidal that I'd jump off a bridge or something.

    Another thought... if you were to stay as his client, I imagine you'd probably be too worried about scaring him off that you wouldn't be able to speak freely. In which case, you're just shortchanging yourself and not going to get much out of the therapy. IMO, find someone else.

    Just because it's happened twice doesn't mean it will again. I know it doesn't seem that way, but maybe you've just had bad luck finding therapists who are competent to deal with your specific problems. Maybe you could search for one who specializes in your situation.

    In any case, you should never have to feel responsible for your therapist's feelings or actions.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 3, 2007
  6. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Seriously this guy is a total joke "for my sanity's sake"What line of work are you in you fool?Does he actually know what he's doing?Obviously to me this guy is'nt fir to be a therapist sorry to say that's a total joke and to say something like that is totally absurd.Good point kitty report him to the ethic's board,you see this guy for a reason and he tell's you that absolute crap.:mad:
  7. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    thanx bipolar kitty and ace for your opinions. kitty yes i have been feeling even more suicidal sinse he told me that. it has just blown my mind. i've been thinking about this long and hard. i am going to give up therapy all together but now i'm not sure how to approach doing this, because after all their liable to put me in the hospital if i say i just give up on therapy. which is how i'm feeling. he knows i have a date tentatively set also so this only aggrivates all this. i want to say what i feel but like i said i know if i do that then i'll be put in the hospital for sure.

    so if you don't mind does anyone know a tactful way i can say that i am done with all this? i'm not going to continue because the way i'm seeing it right now is if i have made him feel this way there will certainly be others and they may not share what their feeling. i don't want to do that to anyone else so i am going to remain quiet and not talk to them anymore.

    maybe it seems like i'm cutting my own throat and maybe i am. it doesn't matter right now. i have been ultimately hurt now and give up on all this. no more trying to work through things and if i do it will just be on my own. i'm so worked up right now i wish i had a tranquilizer to calm me down. again any help is appreciated. thanx again
  8. bipolarkitty

    bipolarkitty Well-Known Member

    Oh hun :hug: I'm so sorry this is hurting you. What he did to you was so wrong, so damaging. I just wanna go smack him around, lol. :whack:

    I can understand your wanting to stop therapy. You've been burned. It'll take a while for you to be able to step back and think differently about the whole situation.

    Quitting therapy is your right. You can do it whenever you want. Wanting to stop therapy isn't a reason for him to EOD you. Even if he knows you have a tentative date, you can only be hospitalized against your will if you're an immediate danger to yourself or others.

    (btw... I sincerely hope you sail right past that date and hang in there.)

    I wouldn't tell him that you're giving up on therapy. He doesn't have to know that. I think I'd just tell him that you've decided to take a break from therapy for a while. If he presses the issue, you can say that you're not at a place in your life right now where therapy fits, and you're going to step back and think about things. There's nothing suicidal in either of those statements. There's no reason for him to EOD you because of that.

    Therapy isn't for everyone. But it can help a great deal. I hope that if this was the only thing that turned you off to it that one day you'll realize this wasn't your fault, was never your burden to bear, and find someone who's competent. Just as it's your right to quit therapy at any time, it's also your right to feel free to say whatever you want in therapy and not have to worry about what the therapist thinks or feels about it. It's their job to take care of you, not the other way around.

    In the meantime, lean on all of us here. We'll support you whether you're in therapy or not. :hug:

    I'm here for you. PM me anytime. :)

    lol, I feel like I'm channeling my therapist or something. He'd get a kick out of that. :tongue:
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 3, 2007
  9. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Know what, you should tell them why you're quiting therapy. The more I think about this :mad: the more outrageous his behaviour is :mad:
    Definitely think about reporting this shit as soon as you feel up to it.

    As to killing self...I wouldn't give the fucker the satisfaction :mad:
  10. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    sorry for the swearing, but my God this has made me angry!!!!
  11. bipolarkitty

    bipolarkitty Well-Known Member

    It's really pissed me off too, Devastated. :furious:

    I've been in therapy for a long time and I know how vulnerable you can be when you're in that room every week with them, baring your soul. These people are literally holding people's lives in their hands and the incompetent ones can do so much damage! They should realize and respect that.

    I better stop... I could easily go into a rant. :rant:
  12. Adam

    Adam SF Supporter

    Well I am utterly disgusted by that, in truth I wouldn’t take this personal. Your therapist is clearly not all that qualified. Often I question how this kind of individual gets their license in the first place. But as its not all that hard and easy money it does not surprise me you get morons who are less than adequate. This is no reflection on you.
    Don’t you dare turn this event against yourself. This in my mind is tantamount to going into hospital for cancer and having your doctor say. ‘Erm this is too difficult for me to handle sorry can you go away now.’ This is complete negligence at the least he should pass you onto some one more qualified and I feel you should make mention of this and state rather forcefully.
    ‘Well if you are not qualified to assist me through this then please pass me onto some one who is, as leaving me with this realization makes me feel untreatable and if you just cease to function as my therapist and leave me to my own devices that’s negligence on your part. So please arrange for me to see some one else more capable.’

    That’s what I would personally say as it shifts the responsibility back to him, it also gives him a way out as you have asked for it and also comes off as a rather healthy response that wont get you sectioned also the negligence word always gets a therapist to pay attention. :biggrin: Likely this guy is already fearful that you may do something and that the blowback will fall on his head so exploit that to your own benefit. The problem with being chronically suicidal is that it is perhaps the most difficult patient type to deal with as there is a lot of fear of liability. It takes a particular skilled therapist to work with such vulnerable people as yourself with out just fear medicating you. It seems sadly you have not found such a therapist that’s not to say they are not out there.

    After all by the medical model of psychiatry you are ill. It is not you who are responsible, you are ill after all its their responsibility to help you in dealing with your illness. However you would be negligent to yourself to just up and quit. You cut off any possibility of hope and resign yourself to the mental torment of making that final decision. I don’t recommend that and you instead keep the door of possibility open for yourself and get this unqualified moron to get you some one better capable of dealing with your out pourings.

    This is just my opinion on the matter take from it what you will.
  13. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    no sweats on the swearing devestated. no prob at all. this has just amazingly jacked me up. i've been at work already for two hours today and concentrating is nearly impossible. i'm not like that. i did ask a co-worker her opinion and she stands where all of you are standing.

    adam i appreciate the encouragement to keep going in counseling but this has impacted me rather greatly you might say and if nothing else i do need to take a break for a while. if for no other reason than to just recover from this situation.

    i'm just so so so sad about this. i had a date set but was thinking about moving it back because i'm trying to get some writing done that is taking me longer than i thought it was. it's amazing how one thing can have such an effect on a person. i'm not sure i'm going to make it through this. i'm sliding down hill faster and faster here. ugh
  14. bipolarkitty

    bipolarkitty Well-Known Member

    Just remember we're here for you. You're not alone. :hug:
  15. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    i will try to keep that in mind. i have to work all day today. i hope i can pull my head out of my ass long enough to be of any good today. thanks kitty i appreciate the thoughts alot.

    i am really feeling like i'm gonna explode here soon. omg this sucks
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 3, 2007
  16. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    I think you should still go to therapy. See its differant over there...we dont really have therapists...we have councillors, psychs, psychiatrists. All of which have to be fairly well qualified...I think some of these therapists get there credentials from the back of a breakfast cereal box...

    Thats something he should never have said...in saying that, his honesty has forced you into a decision to change therapists...which I think you should do.

    Dont give up. Theres a lot of good people out there that can help :hug:
  17. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    today is the big day i'm going to call my therapist. i just don't want to drag this out any further and i know he's in today if he wants to talk to me. which i'm sure he will. i spoke with my old therapist today and i seemed to have left her even feeling in a spot and i wasn't trying to i was just trying to get my daughter set back up with her sinse my daughter trusts her, but i guess i said too much when i said i'm quitting therapy. this is not my imagination either she told me she was feeling put on the spot or inbetween things. i know she wasn't comfortable with this. i can't do anything right here lately. hell
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