Something that I was just thinking about today, as I descended into another uncontrolled fit of crying and wondering both why I am crying like this and reflexively thinking about doing it again was about living life. If I am going to do, finally, what is the best way to go? Should one leave in misery or should one live their last day to fullest enjoyment. It is funny, there is that saying about living every day like it was your last. But what if today really was your last? How would you live it? What would you do? I frequently read that people who are committed to the act frequently make amends with the world and give away their possessions. But what else would you do? How can you live your last day to the fullest when you live currently in such misery? And if you live your last day to the fullest, would it be your final act, or would it help you to reconsider your judgement? I am trying to think right now of things I would like to do today, contemplating that it would be my last. But I cannot think of any. The only thing I can think of is going for a walk in the woods, with the trees bare, walking over the dead wet leaves that autumn left behind. I would also like to go and get more coffee. But that's it. Any other ideas? What would you do?