What would you do?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by qazplu33, Dec 22, 2011.

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  1. qazplu33

    qazplu33 New Member

    I recently started a PHP (partial hospitalization program), and while it hasn't been able to help me cope and deal with the depression and anxiety yet I feel happier just being there. The program is tailored to last 1-2 weeks; I've been through 2 days.

    Meanwhile, I have a vacation planned for next Monday (12/26) for two weeks. I'll be going to Hong Kong to visit family and explore the city. I've been looking forward to this trip all year and quite frankly it's one of the only things that kept me alive when I was feeling like absolute sh!te. I really want to go.

    I also really want to continue the PHP. I'm torn as to what to do. I have three options:

    1) Keep the current itinerary and go to HK.
    2) Defer the ticket a few days to continue going to the PHP (but not complete it); lose time in HK
    3) Cancel the ticket outright and complete the PHP.

    I'm a college student, so I'm not going to get another extended break like this until next summer. Unless HK decides to sink or is bombed in another world war, it's not going anywhere. What should I do? I know health takes precedence, but again, I've been looking forward to this trip for months. The rational side of me is leaning towards option 3. Any input is appreciated. Thanks!
  2. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Hi qazplu33,

    After a little bit of trying to put myself in your mindset, I think all options above have their pros and cons.. Here are my thoughts, for what it's worth - I don't know you that well, but I hope what follows is helpful.. and is not overly redundant or simple. For me, I think in the end you cannot go "wrong." By putting myself in your position, on one hand I would want to continue the PHP as much as possible.. but I'm not sure how much hope you have for it helping you, and also I am not familiar with what the PHP near you is like. I've attended the start of a PHP following a hospitalization before, and I received a large binder with chapters of topics.. and a daily stress log to monitor how I'm doing.. along with a book for thinking positively.. We were not allowed to have any unexcused absences, and once a week we would meet individually with a designated psychiatrist. The first day - the only day I attended - was like a lecture style class.

    Without further ado, the two cents :twocents: of an outsider (albeit a biased one - I'll try not to be!):

    Option 1

    - maximum family time
    - flexibility to explore the city without feeling too rushed for time
    - attend something that you have been looking forward to - especially when times are rough.. and be able enjoy it to the fullest

    - No more PHP, although PHP can wait until next summer
    - mental health effects (maybe) from no more PHP to learn more coping skills (?) - not sure about that one, but just throwing it out there

    Option 2

    - a few more days of PHP

    - less family time and exploration time

    Option 3

    - Get all you can out of a comprehensive PHP
    - Could help you

    - no family time or exploring HK - something you have been looking forward to when you have felt hopeless


    I neglected to put the "stress" factor out there, as it is my hope that you have a relaxing, restful break.. Not sure which option would be most relaxing.. or more pleasurable for you.. I think the hardest part for me would be not knowing which decision is the right decision.. I might regret leaving PHP early.. but you can continue it next summer as well.. Maybe a balance of satisfaction with continuing on some with PHP, along with other factors could work.. Like I said, I think there is no "right decision" and it's up to you. Best of luck with the decision from another college student :]... Nice to meet you, and I hope you have a good time with whichever option you go with! Take care of yourself.. ((Hugs))


    P.S. As a matter of fact, I was in HK visiting an aunt in China a few years ago, and I found it lovely.. Crowded maybe.. some pollution, but where is there not.. Overall, well worth it and another side of the world to see, besides being quite memorable..
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 22, 2011
  3. qazplu33

    qazplu33 New Member

    The PHP I'm going to is basically a 6 hour group session; a group of 10-16 is in a room and we do activities or exercises designed to boost self-esteem, confidence, etc, as well as find a way for you to cope with whatever you've got. No reading, no mandatory stuff (although you only have two unexcuseds). Nothing lecture-based... I enjoy being around people who understand and won't judge me for the crap I'm going through. I feel like I got more support from a total group of strangers in one day than I have from my close friends all semester long. I'd like to place confidence in the program being successful, but of course I won't know unless I keep going.

    In terms of relaxing, option one would be best... it would mean getting away from my batshit crazy parents who seem to think one minor episode of cutting means I'm absolutely suicidal. It wasn't even cutting, just some scratches and scrapes with a pocketknife. I want to do option one. But at the same time I know option three will get me where I need to be faster; I can always put off HK for another year. I need to get school back together, dropping from a 3.86 to a 3.1 is bad news bears.

    Thanks for the kind words. I wish my friends were more like you. HK is awesome, I went in July 2010 and loved it. Crowded - yes. Polluted - yes. A crap ton to do - yes. It's almost like they ported NYC halfway across the world.

  4. qazplu33

    qazplu33 New Member

    Bump before I make any final deicions.
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