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What would you lose if you took counsel from your fears?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Shasha Elfond, Jan 19, 2016.

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  1. Shasha Elfond

    Shasha Elfond Member

    I just took a long walk around my little town. As I got to the intersection of the first street I walked down, someone (someone in my grade in my school, a male someone) stopped to ask if I needed a ride anywhere. I just wanted to be away from home, so, naturally, I answered "No, I'm just taking a walk. Thanks though!" with a smile that would have convinced anyone that I am ok.

    As I walked though... I wondered. What if I got into his truck and just asked him to take me to the farthest park? Would he have asked if I was ok? I was nearly to tears. I needed to be anywhere but in this town... anywhere but home. Would it have been better to ride with him to a park, if only not to feel so lost and frustrated for the few minutes it would have taken to get there? What was it that I was afraid of?

    So... What do we lose when we take counsel from our fears?

    For me, it would have been the comfort of a friendly person and the warmth of a truck. Maybe some relief. But for now, my fears are my counsel. So I must be forever alone with my thoughts and that bridge that just isn't high enough to see.
    2 people like this.
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hi, Sasha. I get the sense that you feel lonely, but didn't want to share the hurt feelings for fear of bothering someone else with them or because they might reject you. I'm not sure, though.

    I'm sorry if you're feeling alone and are struggling. Not getting into this lad's truck and heading to a far-away park was actually a wise decision in my opinion. It could be very dangerous to go to out-of-the-way places alone with someone without letting others know.

    What is on your mind that made you close to tears when you were walking? Sometimes it helps to talk to people and SF is a safe place for that. I hope you feel better really soon. :)
  3. Shasha Elfond

    Shasha Elfond Member

    My mom had said some... particularly hurtful things. I have started slowly being rejected by my family... and so much more has been going on. I just need to get out. Anywhere else would help. Anywhere
  4. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hi, Sasha. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. You didn't say how old you are, but you mentioned the guy was in your grade at school, so I'm thinking your in your teens?

    What other things make you feel you are being rejected by your family? You said a lot has been happening. Maybe sharing about it would help. It's hard to make suggestions when we don't know the situation very well. Do you have a school guidance office? Maybe you could talk to the counsellor there and see what she or he recommends? If the situation at home is abusive, please tell a trusted teacher or the guidance counsellor. Please keep us posted.
  5. Shasha Elfond

    Shasha Elfond Member

    I'm a senior in high school and will be turning 18 in May. Our town is small enough that the farthest park is tops a 20 minute walk, and It wouldn't have been too out of the way, I'm positive I would have been OK but I see your point.

    The guidance counselor isn't for the mental health of the students here. He is just here to help people graduate and get into a proper college with all of the scholarships possible. Also, my home life isn't abusive beyond the mental trauma, and I understand why my mom has been so on edge lately. She is nearly the breadwinner of the family and is constantly having to work and she barely gets enough sleep as it is.
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