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Whatever, even if you read this you'll just disregard it

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Prof.Bruttenholm, Mar 29, 2011.

  1. Prof.Bruttenholm

    Prof.Bruttenholm Well-Known Member

    I hate everyone, everything and myself.
    I hate seeing myself in the mirror, I hate my body, my voice, everything.
    I can't trust anyone, everyone is a liar, offering help only as it suits them, pretending to be my friend.
    I hate you all.
    I can't stand much more of this.
    I have horrible head aches, my flesh itches and burns and I just want to end it.

    And this doesn't break forum rules.

    Behaviour in chat will be now monitored with an infraction system. When a member is given 6 infraction points, he or she will be placed under FAO (Forum Access Only) for a week, month or permenantly, depending on the number of times they have been banned in the past.

    In chat, six points = ban

    Abuse of ignore function: 3 pts
    Discrimination (against member / religion / race / disability etc): 3 pts
    Ignoring CMs and staff: 3 pts
    Sexual banter: 3 pts
    Spamming: 3 pts
    Insulting members: 3 pts
    Encouraging self harm (etc): 6 pts
    Encouraging suicide: 12 pts

    Chat ban times:
    First - A week's FAO
    Second - A month's FAO
    Third - Permanent FAO
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 29, 2011
  2. Escapist

    Escapist Well-Known Member

    All I can really say;
    • When your life isn't going the way you want it to go, change it. It's easy to look down upon yourself and be negative, but does that help? It doesn't. Write the things down that you would like to do, to achieve. Then look for something that you can start with. While this isn't easy, it isn't impossible either.
  3. Prof.Bruttenholm

    Prof.Bruttenholm Well-Known Member

    Why bother? I'll just fail anyhow
  4. Itsme:)

    Itsme:) Well-Known Member

    If you try and fail, you've lost nothing
    If you try and are successful, you've gained so much...

    should you give up on everything, you'll never know x
  5. Prof.Bruttenholm

    Prof.Bruttenholm Well-Known Member

    Only once, sure but if fail, again and again and again
    If you try everything that is suggested and taught then you are a failure
    Hard work doesn't mean you'll get what you work for
    If I try and fail I can lose something
    If I fail to become a professional graphic artist, then I'll have no career and no purpose
    If I fail to ever stop being shy and anti-social, then I'll be alone forever
    I fail and I lose so much
  6. Escapist

    Escapist Well-Known Member

    You do understand that you won't get anywhere with that kind of perspective? Ofcourse you can't expect that everything will go well right away. Ofcourse you will fall a couple of times along the way, but that is exactly what life is about. Either stand up and show some willpower or remain on the floor and continue to be miserable.

    Everytime you fall you are given knowledge, experience. Why not use that to your advantage and try again? Eventually you will succeed.
  7. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    You've been regurgitating the same thing ever since you joined.

    If you are not willing to change than don't complain. You have control, you choose not to use it. Simple as that.
  8. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Sometimes it isnt that easy. Sometimes the mental health issues have the control. Sometimes you just dont have the strength to take the control when you want or need to. Sometimes you need to put yourself in the other persons place to truly understand what they are struggling through. Simple as that!
  9. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    :rolleyes: yeah i'm here because i don't understand
  10. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Please dont go there. I didnt say that about you. Just trying to dispute that no ones problems here are simple or easy. If things were simple, no one would have to post more than once around here. The OP is obviously in pain, something we all unfortunately understand.
  11. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    The problems are not simple, i agree. However the choice to do something about them, is yours to make.

    'If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got'
  12. Prof.Bruttenholm

    Prof.Bruttenholm Well-Known Member

    Science proves that is not true, there is always a chance for a different result.

    The fact of the matter is, I've figured out what is wrong with me but now I need to overcome it.
    To be honest, it had nothing to do with anyone of you and nothing that any of you said, with that said, I appreciate what some of you have said and offered.

    However, overcoming my problem at this point is difficult as I've yet to understand something simple in question "where to start?".
    It's easy to say "at the beginning" but not when one doesn't know what the beginning is.
  13. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    Of course there is a fucking chance there will be a different result. But doing nothing is going to make it definite that nothing is going to change.

    I don't even know why i bother replying anymore.
  14. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I u nderstand it is hard to know where to start when you have had no direction on how to do so. Your illness you have not said what it is but a starting point would be to ask you doctor what is available to help you heal. Is there a therapy you should be signing up for Is there a new medication that might help Maybe someone here has the same illness as you who has been where you are now can help you ask question have a list for your doctor next time you go in okay hugs
  15. Prof.Bruttenholm

    Prof.Bruttenholm Well-Known Member

    I am afraid this is not so simply a categorized illness.
    I won't be seeing any form of physician, psychologist, psychiatrist or therapist, nor will I need any form of drug.
    I have much of the steps needed, it is simply a matter of beginning, then never stopping.
    Understand, this is a transitional period, one of which will more than likely involve more confusion, anger and sadness than any of you have seen from me yet.

    As for Domo, if you feel so frustrated from repeating yourself, then stop.
    No one asked you to post and you have the freedom to simply ignore me.
    I suggest you use that freedom to it's full value.
  16. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    I feel frustrated at the dribble that continually escapes from your mouth, not any repetition that might come from myself.

    Suggestion happily taken.