Whatever you want to call it

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by frantic, Feb 12, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    Hanging on by a thread. A couple of weeks ago I tried to kill myself in the hospital. I was a split second too slow.

    I'm at that point again, and I can't get that night out of my head. The method I used. I want to do it again. It is always on my mind. I can't get away from it. That night keeps replaying in my head over and over.
     
  2. Ladybugaboo

    Ladybugaboo Well-Known Member

    Before you make any decisions on impulse, please take a breather and wait it out... I sincerely don't want you to get hurt. I was in that state of mind 2 hours ago, and I'm relieved I got through it even if it's just for today. Can anyone help you? It's better to replace that thread with someone's hand..
     
  3. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi. I am very much hoping that you can find a way to stay alive. I remember reading about someone here who passed. i did not know her. But my heart sank at the loss of her. This is a community. And all people here matter. Even though that may sound a bit strange. It is true, as far as i am concerned. I hope you find a way through this tonight and today and tomorrow etc. Each hour. Each 2 hours. Each day.
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there, I think now is the time to seek help, if you are fixed on a certain 'method' it is time to reach out. Because as was already said things can get better. It is known that when some people recover from suicidal thoughts, they cannot believe they ever felt that way. There is light at the end of the tunnel. :)
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun please reach out ok go back to hospital and tell them your mind is not letting go of your suicidal thoughts Hun you stay strong ok you keep talking to us you keep reaching out to the people in real life You hun can get well you can just keep reaching out for help hugs
     
  6. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    didn't feel too horrible this morning, but now all i want to do is cry. it hurts and i want out.
     
  7. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Is there someone you can call for help? I know it is very painful and hard. But please DO reach out for help irl to get through this. And keep posting here of course. Maybe a change in the meds. Even if they were recently changed. To have them re-evaluated. :hug:
     
  8. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    Called my psychiatrist earlier. She hasn't called back, yet anyway. Won't happen tonight, it's too late now.

    I feel completely isolated in myself. I can't get out, and no one can come in. It's just me and the pain. And the thing/s that could make it all stop
     
  9. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Glad you called her. I hope that by now she has called. Just try to hang on. Do you ever go tot he chatroom here?
     
  10. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    no, she didn't call back. theres usually noone in the chatroom when i try to go there. but "hang" is exactly what i'm looking forward to
     
  11. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Untill psychiatrist calls back can you try a crisis phone line? Please keep reaching out. I do know what being totally alone is like.
     
  12. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I think the chatroom is set up so that you go into a main room and then choose a room after you get in to the main room. There are not people in the main room though.

    Can you do what Throdora suggested and call a crisis phone line? I am so sorry you are in this much pain. I too am hoping that you can keep trying to reach out to get help.
     
  13. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    i cant
    husband is home
    must keep showing the happy face

    the chatroom i go to trigger topics, and theres never anyone there

    its okay
    its all good
     
  14. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Keep coming on here. It is usually a quiet time with fewer users. I'm going to be around off and on if I'm any use.
     
  15. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I understand what you mean about chatrooms. They can be triggering for sure. I am going to go to bed now. But I will check back here when I wake up. I will be thinking of you.
     
  16. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    just got up a bit ago, and the pain is stronger than ever. just saw that one of the cops that evil guy shot has died, and all i could think was, i wish that was me.
    it hurts so so bad today, i'm feeling so hopeless, i don't think i'lllmake it through the day. i really think this is it. and somehwo i'm at peace with it. it does hurt when i think about leaving my children behind, but i just cant go on anymore

    im so sorry
     
  17. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Hi Frantic. Can you call your therapist again? Or call a crisis line? Can you do that please?
     
  18. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Frantic, regarding the chat room , I would suggest asking in Main or Spare room if anyone would like to go to triggering subjects with you :) Feel better soon hun x
     
  19. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    no point they'll just lock me up
    the never gets me anywhere no point in trying anymore
    no point in continuing this misrey of a life
    really, its time to go
     
  20. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Frantic no- I don't believe it is your time to go. They won't necessarily lock you up, unless you present yourself as a danger to yourself or others. Sometimes they will even still treat you as an outpatient who gets monitored regularly instead of being 'locked up' in a psych ward.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.